While this may seem like a hopelessly difficult situation, with no easy answers and no single solution that’s guaranteed to work, there are some things you can do to help your loved one get through this stressful time without going back to alcohol or drugs.

Lighten Up

First, it’s important to adopt a more lighthearted look at the entire holiday season in general. It needn’t be all that stressful if you take time to sift through all the types of demands and activities that tend to increase stress and tension around the house – and then get rid of some of them, at least temporarily.

Maybe there are just too many obligations at this time of the year, some of which would be better rescheduled to sometime after the holidays are over. Maybe it’s more a sense of duty, to bring together the extended family, to show that things are really just fine, to put everyone in a tizzy trying to out-do others in entertaining, or any of dozens of other reasons.

Let’s face it. When your loved one is just trying to hang on here during their first holiday without the crutch of booze or drugs, now is not the time to discuss potentially triggering topics like finances or getting a divorce or selling the house or even asking the boss for a raise to help meet bills.

Find a little ray of sunshine in each day. Watch comedies instead of heavy drama. Avoid the news broadcasts with their focus on sensationalism, crime, drunken driving arrests of celebrities and all that negative news.

Help with Stress Management Techniques

One way to help ward off stress, for your loved one in recovery as well as you and other members of the family, is to engage in stress reducing activities such as walking, hiking, yoga, deep breathing exercises, and meditation.

Getting enough rest is also high on the list of recommended strategies for helping to manage stress during this time of the year. Remember that one of the acronyms for those in recovery is H.A.L.T. This refers to the caution that during times when you’re hungry, angry, and lonely or tired, you’re more at risk of doing something counter-productive to recovery. So, if you notice that your loved one who’s going to be experiencing the first holiday without alcohol or drugs is looking tired, or seems frazzled, encourage him or her to get a good night’s sleep.

Of course, you can’t really stay up all hours and expect your loved one not to follow suit. So, you’ll need to set a good example and go to bed at or around the same time so you both get enough rest.

Remember that things always look different and are easier to manage if you are able to face challenges after a good night’s sleep. It’s not a panacea, but it is common sense. And it does work.

Keep in Mind This is the Disease of Addiction

When the holidays have you all in a commotion over gift-buying and tree-trimming or other aspects of the festive time of the year, it’s wise to keep in mind that your loved one in recovery has the disease of addiction. This means that even though he or she is in recovery, they still are very susceptible to relapse at any time – especially during the first few months of recovery.

If your loved one has close to a year of sobriety that still doesn’t mean that recovery is smooth sailing, however. In fact, it’s the holiday season that often pushes the newly recovered over the edge and into relapse. What the rest of us may take in stride may just be the last straw for the newly sober individual.

Case in point: all the alcohol ads on TV, in the newspapers, on billboards. The sight, sounds, smells associated with being around others drinking is like waving a red cape in front of a bull. It’s a simple example of cause and effect, with the effect being, in many cases, giving in to the overwhelming urge to use.

Maybe you hear your recovering loved one start to rationalize, saying things like “Just one will be okay,” or “I can handle it.” While you can’t be a nag about it, remind your loved one of the reasons he or she got sober in the first place. Recommend a talk with his or her 12-step sponsor as a proactive step to take.

Be Selective About Accepting Party Invitations

Getting back to the rounds of parties that are often available during the holiday season, it’s a good idea to sit this one out in many cases. Maybe you don’t have to put yourself and your newly recovered loved one into a risky situation after all. Why not be very selective about the number and types of events or party invitations that you accept?

Think about it. There’s nothing that says you have to attend every activity you’re invited to. It is possible that people are inviting you because they always have, or they feel that you’d be insulted or hurt if they didn’t invite you and your loved one – whether or not they know of your loved one being in recovery.

Even the events that are more or less pretty obligatory, like visiting with relatives or making an appearance at an annual company function, you can manage better by going late and leaving early. Have something pressing that demands your presence so that you can leave when you need to without causing any undue concern. Your loved one in recovery could have the “urgent” matter to attend to, or it could be you that has another obligation, one that both of you are required to take part in.

The point is, weigh your options. Don’t accept every invitation you’re given. Be selective in where you do wind up going. Don’t feel obligated to make an appearance at places if you’re only putting in face time and it’s not really needed. You and your loved one in recovery have more important things to do with your time.

Make a Plan

Okay, so there are a few events, parties or activities that you feel, individually and collectively, that you absolutely must attend. Use the same principle of selectivity here. By that we mean you take the time to strategize just how you’ll approach going to and being at this event.

Who is throwing the party or hosting the activity? Find out ahead of time what food and refreshments will be served and if it’s likely to be an alcoholic blow-out, you and your loved one who’s about to go through the first holiday without drugs and alcohol, you’d better both have a plan to deal with people offering drinks in a non-stop fashion.

Help your loved one by practicing or role-playing things he or she can say when being offered a drink. This takes the sting out of being caught off-guard at a party or event and having no clue what to say or do other than reach out and take the glass of booze offered. Practicing what to say is a very good technique. The more you do it, the easier it gets. And, don’t just have one response in the toolkit. Try out various responses that your loved one can switch to, given various situations.

Be sure that you practice enough so that your loved one feels comfortable delivering his or her lines. Again, the more he or she practices how to say no in a polite and kind manner, the easier it will be to do when the situation calls for it.

Take Advantage of Available Support

Why do you think that the 12-step rooms get so busy at this time of the year? It’s not that people just got religion, so to speak, or that there are more people in recovery during the holidays than any other time of the year. The truth is that the holidays are the times when those in recovery are at greater risk of relapse – and everyone in recovery knows that.

Going to meetings, talking with sponsors, and taking advantage of the community of support available to those in recovery is one of the smartest things your loved one can do during this time. By attending an Al-Anon or Nar-Anon meeting yourself, you can show your own support for your loved one as well as get the kind of support you need for yourself.

This is, after all, a family recovery. No one recovers alone. We all need the help and support of others as we face challenges. Whether it’s the holiday or any other time of stress and challenging situations, support is always just a meeting away.

Go Elsewhere

While it may seem like an expensive undertaking, getting out of town during the holidays doesn’t have to be a break-the-budget proposition. Maybe you have relatives that live in a rural area, or in the mountains, or in a small town, or somewhere that is sparsely populated, doesn’t have a lot of traffic congestion, few bars or liquor stores, and so forth. No, we’re not talking about something that doesn’t exist, nor should you be necessarily looking for a deserted island. The idea is to change the scenery, in more ways than one.

First, you’ll be out of your normal surroundings during a time of the year when you and your loved one in recovery may be subjected to just too much stress and temptation. Second, you’ll be seeing something that’s out of the ordinary, that is, people and places that will take your attention off those pressing details at home.

You may also find that your loved one is more interested in the surroundings in this other location, has more energy and enthusiasm for engaging in healthy recreational activities such as skiing, tobogganing, sledding, ice skating, ice fishing and so forth. In fact, if you can both share in these activities, there’s a much greater likelihood that this will prove to be one of the most satisfying and enjoying holidays you’ve had in a long time.

Acknowledge the Risk, But Don’t Run From It

Yes, surviving the first holiday without alcohol or drugs can be a very scary time for your loved one. You need to acknowledge that upfront and do everything you can to help your loved one get through this difficult time without relapsing.

One thing you really can’t do is to pretend that everything is normal, that you can both just go back to whatever way you both used to approach the holiday season. That ship has already sailed. There’s no going back to the way it once was. When your loved one is in recovery, there’s no little bit of drinking, no single taking a hit or dropping a line or smoking some illicit substance. Abstinence is the only way your loved one will be able to continue effective recovery.

This doesn’t mean that your life with your loved one will be monotonous and dull. It would only be that if you adopt the mindset that you can’t live without the excitement and allure that previous partying entailed, with or without your loved one’s addiction. So, it will mean that you need to revise your lifestyle to accommodate the healing process your loved one is undertaking. Either that or you’ll need to make some different changes in your living arrangement with your spouse or loved one.

Again, no one recovers alone. Recovery support groups such as Alcoholics Anonymous and Narcotics Anonymous are a key factor in ongoing sobriety, but the support and encouragement of loving spouses and family members is just as important. The two together provide your loved one with his or her best chance at continued sobriety.

This is also an excellent time to express your love for your partner. You’ve both been through some trying times, including your loved one’s time in treatment and early days of recovery. A deep and abiding love will help sustain you both, but it’s also true that each of us needs to hear and feel that we’re truly loved. Kind and loving words, gestures and touches will go a long way toward healing the soul and the spirit, now and at any time of the year.

Bottom line: Can you help your loved one survive their first holiday without drugs and alcohol? The answer really is up to you. Are you committed to supporting your loved one’s continued sobriety? Can you make a few sacrifices, do things a little differently, adopt a positive attitude toward his or her new life in sobriety so that everyone benefits through adoption of a healthier lifestyle?

With the holiday season upon us, now is a great time to begin.

First Holiday Without Drugs And Alcohol? How to Help Your Loved One Survive is a post from: Drug Addiction Treatment

The last couple months of the year are a time for reflection and celebration. But for those struggling with drug or alcohol addiction, it can also be a time for wallowing and socially acceptable denial. Even when we know it’s time to change, the unknown can be more frightening than maintaining the status quo, even if you and everyone around you are miserable.

Why wait until New Year’s to make long-overdue changes? Here are 10 reasons to go to drug rehab now and start off the New Year with some happy holiday traditions.

1. Addictions often intensify around the holidays.
As joyful as the holiday season is, it is also a stressful time. Most people are juggling work and family obligations as well as gift-buying and holiday celebrations. Holiday parties make it a popular and socially acceptable time of year to drink alcohol excessively. For some, this can also be a lonely time, which fuels addictive behavior.

The longer you wait, the more damage will be done not only to your physical and emotional health but to your relationships, your career and your future. Many people who struggle with addiction also suffer from co-occurring mental health disorders such as depression, anxiety, and addictions to sex, love, food, shopping and gambling. Delaying treatment means that all of these problems may worsen as well, putting your health and finances in jeopardy.

2. The weather outside is frightful.
In most parts of the country, the cold weather makes it a popular time to escape to warmer climates. Although drug rehab requires hard work, the process can be made more comfortable by choosing a program where it is sunny and mild most of the year.

Even more important than great weather are the opportunities it affords. You’ll be able to meditate on the beach, have sober fun playing outdoor sports and let the fresh air clear your mind after a long day of recovery work. Some facilities also offer gourmet meals, massage, acupuncture and other services that make drug rehab more comfortable.

3. Work and school slow down.
November and December are slow months for many businesses and schools. The kids have vacation time that they can spend with relatives, and your job may find it easier to cover your absence during this time of year.

4. Addicted family members detract from family gatherings.
Even in dysfunctional homes, people want to be home for the holidays. But instead of trimming the trees and hanging stockings with care, an addicted family member is likely to drain all the joy and replace it with the frustration, anger and confusion. As in past years, an addicted family member is more apt to create a scene than a celebration. The magic of the season can’t make an addiction miraculously disappear – only treatment and an ongoing commitment to recovery can make change a reality.

In addicted families, the dysfunction often goes both ways. Family members – often resentful and tired of dealing with a loved one’s addiction – may make comments or take actions that make you feel even worse than you already do. Perhaps other family members are struggling with drug or alcohol addictions of their own. Whether you’re greeted with blame and shame or enabling and rescuing, the stress of being around family may exacerbate your addiction.

5. Emotions are heightened.
It’s hard to say why, but emotions run high around the holidays. It could be the positive feelings of generosity and peace. Or perhaps it’s the expectation of joy, set starkly against a reality which may not be so perfect. Whatever the reason, take advantage of those emotions and direct them in a positive direction rather than letting them lead you on a downward spiral.

Just as the holidays are brimming with cheer, they can trigger strong feelings of sadness, loneliness and isolation. They also drum up personal shortcomings and family issues that have been suppressed all year. Drug rehab is a safe place to address these feelings and lay the foundation for drama-free holidays ahead.

6. Sobriety is the best gift of all.
Addiction is a family disease. Recovery from addiction is a gift not only to yourself but to everyone who cares about you. If they know you’re safe in drug rehab, learning the skills to get and stay sober, you free them to enjoy the holidays rather than worrying when the next crisis will erupt. Skip the expensive gadgets, what your family really wants is for you to be healthy, happy and fully present for years to come.

7. Drug rehabs typically have shorter wait lists around the holidays.
The last few months of the year are typically when drug rehab centers are quietest. With fewer patients, the therapists and staff have an even greater ability to get to know you and provide individualized care. If you’re looking at some of the smaller, more exclusive drug rehab centers, you’re also less likely to be put on a wait list around the holidays.

8. The holidays can be the most effective time to break through a loved one’s denial.
When family members stage an addiction intervention or help a loved one into treatment over the holidays, they send a particularly strong message: Recovery from addiction comes first. It’s the holidays and we love you and want you to share in the festivities, but you must get sober first.

9. The treatment experience can be particularly powerful around the holidays.
Addiction treatment professionals understand that it can be difficult to be away from home during the holidays. Some of the best drug rehabs provide special holiday meals and encourage patients to share their family traditions. They also host a family program so that family members continue to be an important part of your holiday.

10. Start the New Year off right.
Going to drug rehab during the holidays means starting the New Year already having achieved some important goals. Instead of making a New Year’s resolution to get well (we all know what happens to most of these resolutions come mid-February), you will have strategies and plans in place to start the year off right.

If you look hard enough, there’s always an excuse to avoid drug rehab. Work is too busy, the kids have a big school event coming up, the holidays are coming. But none of these things matter if you’re addicted to drugs or alcohol. Being physically present but emotionally absent (or worse) harms your family, career and self more than missing some of these events to get well. Don’t waste another holiday numbing your emotions with drugs and alcohol. Stop the downward spiral and start drug rehab today.

10 Reasons to Start Drug Rehab During the Holidays is a post from: Drug Addiction Treatment

To diminish the association, therapists often work with the patient on establishing a new association to a stimulus. For instance, if a bar setting triggers a response to smoke for a patient trying to stop smoking, a therapist may encourage a different association with bars. However, when the patient encounters the stimulus in a real-world setting, the cigarettes win out and the patient relapses. In response to this problem, many therapists instead encourage the patient to avoid the stimulus altogether, or as much as possible.

An article published in Current Directions in Psychological Science, a journal of the Association for Psychological Science, concludes that this method is not effective because the therapist has no control over the environments that the patient is in. The authors of the paper are Ralph R. Miller, a professor of psychology at the State University of New York at Binghamton, and SUNY’s Mario A Laborda.

Miller says that a more effective route is to make the new memory as strong as possible. The process, referred to as “extinction” by experts, is a way of teaching the patient new memories that replace the old memories. It is also often referred to as “exposure therapy.”

The researchers believe that there are four key elements to making the extinction memory more vibrant and more long-lasting. The first is to give more therapy, and the second is to conduct the sessions in various locations and settings, such as in different rooms. The third key is to strategically space the extinction sessions over the period of therapy. Finally, the paper recommends that the treatment sessions be separated by time.

Miller explains that strategically spacing the sessions to increase the therapy’s effectiveness takes advantage of known principles of learning. Increasing practice reinforces what the patient has learned and spacing the sessions provides better results than lumping all of the sessions close together.

Miller also explains the importance of animal laboratory studies in discovering new addiction treatment options. The use of animals is improving, says Miller, because there have been new developments in the modeling of human psychopathology for not only screening medications, but also for understanding behavioral treatments.

The paper highlights the use of careful timing and varied location contexts to reinforce the use of new memories to overcome an addiction.

Creating New Memories for Addiction Treatment is a post from: Drug Addiction Treatment

"The last five years, I’ve seen her three times…" said Newby, who has always enjoyed writing. When she needed a senior project to prepare for her upcoming graduation, she chose to write about her mom.

"Part one was before the addiction. Things that happened to my mom that I thought contributed to her addiction, part two was during the addiction, and part three was going to be after the addiction," said Newby. Unfortunately, part three hasn’t happened yet.

"Maybe a quarter of the poems in that book I had already written. So, you know, I have been writing about it so that is what I do to get it off my mind, I don’t really talk anyone about it, I write about it," said Newby.

She says the process was therapeutic, and one that makes her family proud.

"I think it is wonderful. She did a really good job. I’m very proud of her. I don’t know she worked really hard," said her stepmom Christine Atwood.

As Newby throws horseshoes in her Danville yard, she says that she never intended to get her book published. She simply wanted to share her story with other kids.

"I thought it was important for other kids to know that there are kids who go through these kinds of things instead of having to talk to someone who is just qualified to talk to them," said Newby.

But, with the help of a couple of generous friends in the community, the dream will become a reality inspired by a mom who’s not around to share in her daughters success.

"She knows about the book. I told her she is not going to get one until she gets sober. But she knows about it," said Newby.

Several copies have already been pre-printed, but Newby says she hopes to get the book officially published by Mother’s Day.

High School Senior Writes Book About Mother’s Heroin Addiction is a post from: Drug Addiction Treatment

What is the Spin Zone?

Usually, when you hear the words spin zone you think of politics, business, sports or Hollywood. “Spin” is another word used by public relations experts to cast a more favorable light on a person, company, product or situation that has come under scrutiny following a major blunder, fair or unfair criticism, police matter, legal issues or social snafu. What it really is, however, is embroidery of the facts. It’s telling the story in a way that’s designed to favor your client, company, product or situation – regardless of the truth.

In the world of the drug addict, spin takes on a slightly different meaning as well. There is certainly considerable embroidery of the truth, but it may or may not be deliberate. Depending on the substance the addict abuses, he or she may still have some semblance of rational thinking left. Still able to separate reality from illusion or hallucination, the drug addict may wish to spare the feelings of family and friends. He or she may try to hide evidence of their addiction by telling what they think are only little white lies.

As the addiction progresses, however, all efforts to try to maintain a normal life disappear in a cloud of lies, half-truths, deliberate omissions, anger, hurt, betrayal and loss. In a sense, everything in the addict’s world spins. It’s not just what comes out of his or her mouth that doesn’t make sense. Nothing makes sense. It’s important for you to understand why.

It’s All About the Fix

Addiction is, by definition, abuse of a substance to the point where the individual continues to use despite negative consequences, needs to use more of the substance and more often in order to achieve the same high. They have gone far beyond physical dependence on the drug – whether the drug is alcohol, illegal street or prescription drugs, or a combination of drugs, or compulsive sexual, eating or gambling – to a point where they physically have to have the drug (or engage in the activity). Their lives become all about the fix. They crave the high, the euphoria they feel when they inject, smoke, snort, pop, inhale, drink, eat or satiate themselves with the drug or activity. Nothing else matters – family or friends, not the job, not their health or finances, and, certainly, not their future.

While loved ones and friends of the addict can argue, cajole, scream, threaten, or try to gloss over, dismiss or ignore what’s happening in a vain attempt to make it go away, the fact is that addiction will not go away by itself. In most cases, this is beyond the control of the addict. They can’t stop by force of will – despite what they may tell you. Remember, their words are part of their spin zone. They will tell you what you want to hear. In the end, however, they’re only concerned about maintaining their habit. Their primary thought is about the next fix. It’s always about the next fix.

Illness vs. Weakness

Whichever side of the fence you are on – and there are many addiction experts who claim one or the other – whether addiction is considered an illness or a weakness isn’t what really counts in the overall scheme of things. Some critics of the illness argument say that when someone is ill they’re not responsible, so saying an addict has an illness gives them an excuse to go on being an addict. On the weakness side, the criticism usually centers on the fact that people with very strong will and determination may be unable to overcome addiction on their own, so it has to have a physical component.

This is not meant to debate which side is right. The point to be made is that addiction will persist and progress to a point of no return, even to death, without treatment. Sheer willpower won’t do it alone, although the addict has to want to change before any treatment will work. Unless and until the underlying behaviors are changed, the spin – and the addiction – will continue.

Brain Functions Falter

What actually happens during the various stages of addiction to make the drug addict so untrustworthy, unreliable, and unpredictable, with wild mood swings and often violent behavior? It has to do with brain chemistry. Repeated drug use disrupts the brain’s complex and finely-tuned network that governs all thoughts, emotions, drives, and perceptions. Over time, such disruption distorts and changes a person’s needs and desires, replacing them with a single motivating drive to seek and use drugs.

All drugs of abuse involve activating the same brain circuits as behaviors linked to survival, such as eating and sex. Use of drugs or alcohol releases a surge of the brain chemical called dopamine which, in turn, leads to feelings of pleasure or euphoria. The brain remembers this feeling and wants to experience it again and again.

What happens is this: within seconds of entering the blood, the drug cause dramatic changes in the brain synapse. It completely bypasses the body’s five senses and enters the brain’s pleasure center, causing a jolt of intense pleasure.
The brain has to try to adapt to these abuse drugs and does so by shutting down or reducing the number of dopamine receptors at these synapses. As the body comes down from the high, the drug user needs more of the drug the next time in order to replicate the high. This is known as tolerance.

As the user continues to abuse drugs, other areas of the brain outside the reward pathway are altered. These include physical changes to regions involved in judgment, learning and memory. In essence, the brain becomes hard-wired, and the drug-seeking behavior becomes habit-driven, an automatic reflex. The user has become an addict.

Another neurotransmitter affected by repeated drug abuse is serotonin. The role of serotonin in the brain is to regulate many of the body’s functions, including body temperature, sleep, mood, appetite and pain. Increasing use of abuse drugs alter the serotonin pathway and can lead to obsessive-compulsive behavior, depression, and anxiety disorders.

How the Addict Displays Spin

The proficiency with which the drug addict is able to manifest some outward signs of normal life changes over time, as more and more of the brain’s regions are damaged by continued drug use. It’s important to note that different drugs affect the brain in more severe and immediate ways. Addicts who abuse multiple drugs simultaneously, or combine drug and alcohol abuse, or have co-occurring mental disorders, may show more signs, or more severe signs, than a single-substance addict. Here, then, are some – but not all – of the most common behaviors that show the addict’s spin.

• Confusion – Usually when you think of a person who is confused you identify that with someone suffering from Alzheimer’s or some other debilitating mental condition. The origins may be different, but the behavior is the same. The addict often displays confusion over seemingly normal situations, not knowing what to do, where they are, finding it difficult to comprehend. They may be sitting at the dinner table and not know which utensil to pick up, or not realize they’ve already eaten their meal and ask for more. Confusion is also related to memory problems in that both occur more frequently in addicts.

• Inability to reason properly – Following a sequence pattern to make a decision involves the ability to reason. This is an ability that suffers as the addict continues to use. You may be discussing why your son or daughter should not be allowed to go to a party after disobeying family rules, getting bad grades or into some trouble at school. The addicted parent may come up with some incredibly faulty reasons why the child should be allowed to go or, on the other hand, some equally unreasonable reasons why not. Faulty reasoning may also be accompanied by wild mood swings as the drug’s effects wane and the addict is in need of another fix.

• Problems with judgment – Errors in judgment occur more frequently. Not only is the addict often confused and unable to reason properly, but he or she cannot accurately determine the right course of action at any given moment. This is particularly dangerous if the individual attempts to drive, operate dangerous equipment or perform a delicate task, such as surgery or using high-speed or hazardous equipment. The expression “judgment call” doesn’t apply to an addict. In the addict’s distorted world, whatever they decide is usually on the wrong side of judgment. They aren’t able to adequately judge and this only worsens over time.

• Learning and memory problems – Addicts find it increasingly difficult to remember even simple tasks, let alone learn and comprehend complex instructions. Short-term memory is profoundly affected as more and more brain circuits are damaged due to continued drug use. In your interactions with the drug addict, you may begin to see that he or she forgets important engagements, doesn’t show up for meals on time or at all, doesn’t pay bills or attend to financial or other responsibilities or other problems associated with learning and memory.

• Concentration suffers – Jitteriness, fidgeting, jumping all over the place in conversation – all are signs that the addict’s concentration is being affected by drugs. He or she can’t seem to stay on one topic, which may be extremely aggravating at the least, and, potentially, very damaging or harmful in the worst case scenario.

• Difficulty separating reality from illusion – Certain drugs of abuse such as hallucinogens cause addicts to have difficulty separating what’s real from what’s only an illusion, a fantasy, not reality. You can’t have a logical conversation – or any conversation, really – with someone who is so far gone that they’re seeing and hearing things that aren’t there. You’ll have to wait until they come down from the drug in order to have any hope of getting through to them.

• Problems with motor ability and space and time – Some drugs affect the addict by slowing down their motor ability or their perception of space and time. They move slower, or jerk uncontrollably in involuntary leg or arm movements. They may act as if they’ve just nodded off for a second when in reality they’ve been in a drug stupor for hours or longer. Having any conversation or interaction with an addict who is exhibiting any of these signs is next to impossible. Again, you will need to wait until they have come down from the drug to have any, hopefully, meaningful conversation.

How You Can Counter the Drug Addict’s Spin

By now, you’re probably wondering what, if anything, you can do to counter the spin you get from the drug addict. The best advice is to educate yourself on all aspects of addiction, particularly to the substance or substances your friend or loved one is addicted to. You need to know exactly what it is that you’re dealing with. This is important because different drugs have different side-effects, and short-term and long-term consequences. The risk for overdose, serious and potentially life-threatening consequences is greater for some drugs than for others. Knowledge is your first powerful tool.

Next, get help. While in most cases the addict has to be ready and willing to acknowledge that he or she needs help and then commit to getting treatment (and stay with it), and you can’t help them yourself, you can and should seek help for yourself. Dealing with an addict in any stage of the addictive cycle is difficult at best and can be impossible or even dangerous, especially if there are children present in the environment.

There are 12-step organizations for friends and loved ones of addicts that can provide support to you – whether or not your addicted loved one or friend decides to seek treatment. Check these organizations out on the Internet and see if they’re a good fit for you. Choose how you want to interact with them – strictly using their site to obtain tips and links to resources, or by participating in live meetings, or meetings via phone or Internet.

• Al-Anon/Alateen
• Adult Children of Alcoholics
• Nar-Anon Family Groups
• Co-Anon Family Groups
• Co-Dependents Anonymous
• Co-Dependents of Sex Addicts
• Gam-Anon
• S-Anon

Also investigate potential treatment programs for the time when the addict is ready to (or is forced to for legal or job-related issues) get treatment. Look into residential treatment centers, outpatient or inpatient hospital facilities and/or private counseling. Make sure they specialize in the particular addiction. Inquire about special financing, grants or scholarships, or sliding-scale or pay-as-you-go programs.

Remember, the spin will continue as long as the addiction continues. If you are going to remain with the drug addict, you will need all the help you can get to remain safe, sane and secure yourself, as well as to be supportive of the addict’s desire to change.

Caution: Entering the Drug Addict’s Spin Zone is a post from: Drug Addiction Treatment

"I did," Jackson said. "Of course, that’s what you do. Those are the things that you do when you love someone. You can’t just let them continue on that way. And we did a few times. We weren’t very successful."

Lynn Redmond and Muriel Pearson write that Jackson said Michael understood that the family’s motives for the interventions were out of love.

"How do I say this? Understanding. I guess that will be the best way to—understood that it was out of love, because of caring. But when it’s something like that, people can tend to be in denial," she said.

When asked if her brother was in denial about his addiction, she replied, "Possibly."
"I wish he could answer this question for you and not me," she said. "I felt that he was in denial."

"You can’t make ‘em drink the water,” she continued. “I’m a true believer in prayer, a big believer in prayer—but it’s, it’s something that you can’t do for them. Something they have to do for themselves," she said.

Toxicology results have shown that Jackson had lethal amounts of propofol—a powerful sedative typically used in operating rooms—in his system when he died, along with a cocktail of other prescriptions. His death was ruled a homicide because his personal physician, Dr. Conrad Murray, allegedly gave him dangerous amount of prescription narcotics.

Murray has admitted to administering propofol but has denied giving Jackson anything that should have killed him. Murray is still under investigation in Los Angeles. The district attorney’s office has yet to announce any charges against him in Jackson’s death, but on Monday, Murray appeared in court on charges that he owes more than $14,000 in child support.

Murray agreed to start making payments to avoid jail time but claimed he had to close his practice because of threats he received after Jackson died. Janet Jackson said she wants to see that Murray is never allowed to practice medicine again.

"He was the one that was administering," Jackson told Roberts. "I think he is responsible."

For Jackson, her interventions with Michael through the years echoed the trials of her first marriage to James DeBarge, who has admitted to being addicted to prescription medication.

"It kinda goes back to my first relationship, something that you have to want…it’s something they have to want," she said of her desire to rid both Michael and DeBarge of their addictions.

At 18, Jackson’s marriage to DeBarge, part of a family singing sensation billed as the next Jackson 5, was an act of rebellion. The two eloped without the approval of her parents.

"I wanted to be on my own and get out of the house," she said. "We were the kind of kids that—we—obeyed our parents, really obeyed our parents. If they said no, you don’t ask why. You just understand that it’s no."

But DeBarge’s struggle with addiction led to the end of the marriage within less than three months

"He was my first love and very much so," Jackson said. "And there was a lot going on in our relationship, a lot going on with him, I should say. And—just being so young and not really—not really knowing what life is really all about, just beginning to explore life and wanting to—help him, thinking I could change him, if I only could do this and that, and not realizing that it was something that he had to do and want for himself."

Their marriage was annulled and she did not find love again until she met Rene Elizondo Jr., a songwriter and one of her musical collaborators. The two were secretly married for eight years, but it ended with a painful divorce.

Music producer and record company executive Jermaine Dupri was the latest man in Jackson’s life. The couple dated on and off for seven years, producing two of her chart-topping albums together, but parted ways.

Jackson said she is single and focusing on her work—a new music video for her single, "Make Me," and a book entitled "True You," a personal story about her lifelong struggle with her weight.

"Just picking yourself apart all the time because you’re so used to being kind of picked apart," she said. "’Oh, your butt’s too big,’ and ‘you’ve got too much meat here,’ ‘got too much this there.’ …Well, now I know there’s nothing wrong with [my booty], thank you to Jermaine Dupri."

Five months after Michael’s death, Jackson said she has sought refuge in her work.
"I needed to get back to work. It helped me get through it," she said. "I was able to put a lot of my focus someplace else."
With the release of the documentary "This Is It," which shows Michael preparing for his sold-out summer concert tour, she has been bombarded by painful images of Michael.

"I haven’t seen [the film]. I definitely won’t, not right now. I don’t know if I will ever see it," she said. "…It’s hard when I see a poster, you know, the "This Is It" posters that are around the city. That’s tough. I’ve seen the commercial. They advertise—the trailers—on TV. That was tough."

If her brother were here, she told Roberts he would tell her to "stop and enjoy" life. "I think it would be to stop and enjoy. I think that would be it," she said.

It’s advice she may well heed during this time of shifting priorities and self-reflection.
"I’m in a different space. There’s a lot that’s gone on, a lot that makes you think, think about life. Something that I think we tend to—at times take for granted," she said. "I’d love to have a family."

Jackson recently released a CD called "Number Ones." She recorded the CD’s only new single "Make Me" after Michael’s death. "It’s classic—classic me," she said. "Dance, upbeat, lots of harmonies."

At 43, Jackson tells Roberts she’s finally come to embrace herself.

"[Forties are] great. You know why? You don’t care what people think. You really don’t. … You do your thing," she said. "You have no time for mess, no time for drama."

Jacksons Knew About Michael’s Addiction is a post from: Drug Addiction Treatment

The problem is, many times people inadvertently make it easier to continue abusing drugs. The choices you make when dealing with an alcoholic or drug addict determine just how much pressure they feel to get any type of treatment.

No need to feel guilty about this. Addicts develop extremely effective methods of manipulating those around them so they can continue to abuse substances without too many consequences. If you are aware of the signs you are being manipulated, you are less likely to fall into the trap of enabling your loved one to continue to use and abuse substances.

Here are some of the classic methods of manipulation:

1. Divide and Conquer: Addicts are expert at compartmentalizing their lives. They quickly learn how much each person in the family will tolerate, and they are careful not to manipulate too much any family member who might catch on. They are selective in what they let different family members know. They know which one won’t lend money and which one will. They know which one will give them a bed to sleep in when the spouse kicks them out. They know who will intervene with the parents if they need to get bailed out of trouble once again. They also know who will keep their secrets.

2. Weakest Link: The addict will look for the weakest link in the family as their ally in addiction. They might do this by making the person feel sorry for them or by acting differently around them so that they protest when the rest of the family insists the person is in real trouble. Make sure you are not the weakest link.

3. Rage and Anger: If you feel afraid to confront your loved once because he might react with rage and anger, you just identified another classic manipulation method. The addict has figured out just how much anger will scare you off. If you are someone who doesn’t like confrontation, they will certainly figure this out and make sure any attempt to talk to them is met with the most unpleasant reaction. Their goal? Make sure you never attempt it again.

4. Empty Threats: Threats do not have to be in the form of violence – they might be threats of leaving and never coming back. They are usually dramatic statements, and most addicts are not in a position to follow through. “OK, I’ll move out and you won’t have to deal with my drinking anymore.” Good response? “I’d rather you choose to get help, but if you feel going out on your own is a better choice than getting help, let me know if you need any help packing.” Once you have called the addict on a threat (and you will often find it to have nothing backing it) they will not be as likely to try it again.

Refuse to Participate in the Addict’s Destruction

If you accommodate the addict, you are participating in their destruction. While it might seem like the right thing to do because they are sick, remember that the mind of the addict is totally focused on getting more drugs. If you make that possible, aren’t you ultimately contributing to their inevitable decline?

By not enabling destructive behavior, you are doing the most loving and supportive thing possible. This does not mean you abandon the person, just that you set new rules of engagement.

Seeking Professional Intervention Help

These new rules of engagement are best set with the help of a professional addiction intervention. Experts strong advise you NOT to try to do an intervention on your own – you are too entwined with the addict and have been manipulated for too long to be effective, and you might just make it worse. An addiction intervention means a neutral third-party works with the family, figures out if there are any weak links, and helps the family members reveal to each other the whole story. Remember, the addict has only given bits and pieces to you as this is part of divide and conquer.

According to Earl Hightower, an addiction intervention specialist who has done over 1,000 interventions over the past two decades, “Alcoholics and addicts have a great ability of reading people, and getting a great sense of what you’re comfortable with and what you’re not, what will manipulate you and what won’t. They get to know how to influence you so they can continue to drink or use with impunity without consequence. ‘You’ll know these things because that’s palatable for you, or creates empathy or compassion in you to allow me to do what I want, but this one over here I can charm; I gotta seduce this one; I’ve got to be more aggressive or assertive with this individual to get them to do what I want.’ The relationship an alcoholic or addict has with other people is all influenced dramatically by the illness that they suffer from; there’s absolutely no way it can be otherwise.”

It is critical that if you decide to do an intervention that you get all family members on the same page: no longer supporting the addiction; instead, supporting getting help for the addiction.

Jane Mintz, who specializes in crisis intervention, says, “There’s a very systematized way for me to get families to start to align. It’s all about alignment. These are fragmented people. Each person has a different experience with the affected individual. They have different opinions. Some may also be using. You’re taking a group of people that are fractured and then bringing them all together, maybe for the first time ever in a different way, so they can deliver the message of hope and help in one voice, effectively, using one voice.”

The most important thing to remember is that you can choose to be part of the problem or part of the solution. To be part of the solution, you will need to step back and honestly examine your behavior in relation to the addicted person. That honest look will give you the ability to effectively approach the problem and become the support system for recovery rather than the support system for drug abuse.
 

Are You Making It Easier for Your Loved One to Abuse Drugs? is a post from: Drug Addiction Treatment

The Partnership for a Drug-Free America, along with the National Military Family Association and the National Association of School Nurses, are providing guidance and scripts online to parents about good ways to bring up what the teens are going through.

The Associated Press writes that a key risk factor for children in military families is the fact that teens are more likely to experiment with alcohol or drugs during times of transition—and many military children have experienced multiple transitions as their parents mobilized for duty in Iraq and Afghanistan on top of ordinary military relocations, which happen on average nearly every three years.

"When these families are moving their adolescent kids, they’re introducing another transition, another point of time where those kids can fall into drug and alcohol abuse," said Steve Pasierb, president of the New York-based Partnership for a Drug-Free America. "That’s what we’re hearing from military families, that their kids are under a lot of pressure."

Another concern is military teens’ access to prescription drugs, which are common among war veterans under treatment for a mental or physical injury. After alcohol and marijuana, prescription drugs are the next most highly abused drugs by teens, according to a study by the partnership.

There’s no research that shows whether military teens are abusing substances at a higher rate than the rest of the population. But the organizations say they’ve heard enough anecdotal reports to be concerned.

Amy Garcia, executive director of the National Association of School Nurses, based in Silver Spring, Maryland., said her son, Jim, developed an addiction at age 14 while she was in Germany tending to her husband, Ernie, a Marine Reserve who broke his neck in a 2004 dining hall bombing in Iraq but has since recovered. The injury occurred when Jim was also dealing with other changes, such as attending a new school.

"Jim was acting brave and I thought he was OK," Garcia said. "Would talking with Jim about the transitions he was experiencing have made a difference? Possibly. Probably. Our children do listen and we had not taken the time to talk about those particular issues."
She said Jim is in a 12-step program, and their family spent more than $138,000 on treatment for him last year at a private hospital.

As part of the initiative, the organizations are providing tools online that parents can use to initiate conversations. Garcia said she’s hopeful that families will add them as part of their to-do checklist before a soldier deploys.
Robyn Lutzkanin, 16, of Stafford, Virginia., whose dad has deployed twice to Iraq, said it was difficult to adjust last year when her dad was transferred to Fort Belvoir, Virginia. She said she does not use drugs or alcohol, and many of the issues she’s faced were made easier because her family meets regularly to discuss them.

"Being in the military is about being strong and some people think it’s weak to cry. They think it’s weak to talk about what’s bothering you. They think you have to be strong and push through it and it doesn’t work," Lutzkanin said. "It doesn’t solve the problem if you don’t communicate."

Campaign Educates Military Families on Substance Abuse is a post from: Drug Addiction Treatment