Coming back from the cycle of addiction is a long and tough road. Not only does it take a lot of courage and determination, but it’s physically and mentally taxing as well. When you’ve finished your treatment and are in recovery, you really need the love, support and encouragement of your loved ones to help you maintain your sobriety. So what happens if your loved ones cannot forgive your addiction? What if there’s so much weight in your baggage that they can’t look beyond the past?

Don’t worry. You can get past this. Here are some things to keep in mind.

First Things First

It’s important to recognize yourself first for the incredible achievement you’ve attained. At this stage of the game, you’ve completed your treatment – however personally challenging that may have been – and are now in recovery. This accomplishment alone is reason to celebrate. Sure, it would be great if your loved ones stood up and gave you credit for this, but it doesn’t detract from the fact that you did it. So, before you think about anything else, give yourself high marks for reaching this milestone.

Count Your Blessings

Now, while you are still giving yourself kudos for reaching the recovery stage, count your blessings for all the positive things that you have in your life. Loved ones notwithstanding, you do have them. Here are some that should rate high on your list. You now have a healthier physical condition, due to the fact that your body is no longer full of the harmful substances you previously ingested, or the addictive lifestyle you once maintained. You’ve made a lot of progress in understanding the roots and underlying causes for your addiction, learned how to identify triggers and how to avoid giving in to them. You worked hard on your self-esteem and self-confidence, learning that you have contributions that you can make to society. Even if you never felt that you made much of a difference before, you now know that each person can impact the lives of many around them, and that you have a tremendous opportunity to not only benefit your own future, but those of others as well.

These are all terrific blessings – and they don’t cost you a penny. While you’re at it, you can probably rattle off a few more. Include the fact that you now sleep better, are less depressed and anxious, look forward to each day rather than dreading what it will bring, and others.

How Bad is the Relationship?

Still, you need the love and support of those closest to you. Whether this is your spouse or partner, children, siblings or parents, the relationships mean a lot and are definitely worth preserving or repairing. Before you attempt to make any amends, however, you should first look at how bad the situation is with your loved ones. What do you see is the biggest obstacle to being whole again in their eyes? In other words, what will it take for them to forgive you – if you know? Maybe you think it is one thing, when, in fact, it may be something else altogether. Don’t just assume. Sit down and really try to figure it out.

Let’s say you’re the husband of a working wife who’s been struggling to keep the family together while you were in treatment. If there are children involved, magnify that struggle by increments depending on what shape (financially, emotionally, socially, etc.) the family was in prior to your entering treatment. Chances are, the inability of your loved ones to forgive you have a lot to do with heavy-duty emotional turmoil. Your spouse, for example, shouldered the burdens while you were away. She had to make many decisions on her own, not being able to get your input, or the situation demanded immediate attention. For a wife used to sharing decisions with her husband, this can take a tremendous toll.

Perhaps she had to scrimp to help pay for your treatment, since your insurance coverage either only covered part of it or you didn’t have any coverage. Having to sacrifice comforts the family has come to rely on or even pare necessities to the bone will build up resentment in the strongest and most caring person. Add that to the list of perceived grievances.

Being the sole parent also meant she shouldered dual roles in your absence. It’s tough to show love, dole out discipline when necessary, keep up appearances and try to ensure the children still have fun when you’ve got so much riding on the situation. She may have begun to wonder if the family would be better off without you. This thought, which is certainly understandable, would likely be instantly quashed as out of the question or a sign of betrayal (although it could still lurk beneath the surface). As you know from your own treatment, when you bury your emotions, they come back to haunt you or, at the very least, make growth more difficult.

While the above is just one example, the point is that you should make a list of the things that you believe stand in the way of your loved one forgiving you for your addiction. Once you have the list, you can go on to the next step.

Figure Out What to Do About It

Work down your list and try to come up with solutions to the problems. Again, this is something you do on your own even before having any conversation with your loved ones. Taking financial concerns into consideration, perhaps you can address how and when you will be able to alleviate this concern. Can you go back to your previous job? What are your employment prospects?
Did you get training in a new vocation or skill while you were in treatment? How willing are you to take any kind of job to
immediately start contributing to the family’s well being?

Recognize that you may have to start from scratch. You may have burned your job bridge behind you if you were fired for your addictive behavior. Or, your prospects upon your return may be limited for some time to come. In either case, start where you are and work your way back up. It’s really the only option you have, since you do have obligations and need to resume your role within society.

If you need training, look into how you can get it. Take any job and go to school at night, or learn a new trade or skill in an apprenticeship. Another advantage to tackling the financial concerns that may stand in the way of your loved ones’ forgiveness is that you will be doing something positive for yourself as well. Now could be the opportunity to ditch the old job you found boring or distasteful, or not reflective of your true talents or desires. Figure out what it will take for you to get where you really want to be – and then draft a plan to make it happen.

No, this goal won’t be realized overnight. It may take years for you to complete your degree, build up your own business, or become profitable, for example, but it is a positive first step toward eventually achieving the goal.

Speaking of time, it may be that you’ll need to prove yourself to your loved ones by being on your own for a while. It may be too painful for them to have you home on a full-time basis for now. You will need to accept that and really work at making the kinds of changes that can turn that around.

As for the emotional barrier that undoubtedly puts a strain on your relationship moving forward, this, too, requires time. Your loved ones may miss the financial security and feeling of self worth that came from having things in control – prior to your problems with addiction. A drastic drop in self confidence and self worth inevitably follows in the path of addiction, affecting everyone in the family. In fact, emotional turmoil is difficult for loved ones to overcome without some form of family treatment or counseling. They often are not able to see past barriers without professional help. Fortunately, such counseling is relatively easy to access – either as part of your aftercare treatment program, or through community services or self-help groups such as Al-Anon/Alateen, Nar-Anon, and others.

Remain Positive and Upbeat About the Future

Although it seems hard to look at a future without your loved ones in it, for now just keep as upbeat and positive as you can. Reach out to your support network of 12-step members and step up your meeting attendance. This is especially important at time in your life when your family environment may be severely constrained or restricted.

Your 12-step allies also include your sponsor. Don’t be afraid to ask for help from your sponsor, since he or she is ready, willing and able to give you the kind of encouragement and support you need, 24/7. You already have a pretty good familiarity with the 12-step process through contacts during your treatment program – if you went through a formal treatment program. If not, you do have a ready-made support network available to you through 12-step fellowships. There are 12-step groups for every kind of addiction. They are free to attend and have no memberships or dues. All they ask is for voluntary donations if you are able.
While the philosophies are similar and all are based on the 12-step principles, each has its own original focus and personality, if you will.

Here are some of the 12-step groups:

• Alcoholics Anonymous
• Cocaine Anonymous
• Crystal Meth Anonymous
• Debtors Anonymous
• Gamblers Anonymous
• Marijuana Anonymous
• Narcotics Anonymous
• Sexaholics Anonymous
• Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous
• Sex Addicts Anonymous
• Sexual Compulsives Anonymous
• Workaholics Anonymous

Besides in-person meetings, 12-step groups often offer online and phone meetings, blogs, and chats. Each group has its own website which provides access to articles, news, books, CDs, DVDs, and other resources, as well as helpful links for additional help. When you’re feeling down or lonely in the middle of the night, go online and check out some literature that may help – or get in touch with your sponsor or other 12-step group member with whom you have established a connection.

Make a Plan – and Stick To It

Besides continuing counseling, keeping an upbeat attitude and seeking the support and encouragement from your 12-step groups, what else can you do? The best advice is to make a plan, and stick to it. What do we mean by that? What kind of a plan are we talking about? It doesn’t matter what your plan is, or how simple or detailed. The point is that you will be doing yourself a great service by sitting down and designing a plan for your future.

Note the emphasis on your future. Here we are talking about what it is that you want for yourself one year, 5 to 10 years, or longer down the road. Make a list of your short-term (1 to 2 years), intermediate term (3 to 5 years), and long-term (5 to 10 years and beyond) goals. In the next column, jot down what you may need to do in order to reach the particular goal. This may include going to school, getting training, learning a new language, becoming proficient at a sport, joining a recreational or travel group, or something else. In the next column, write down everything you can think of in the way of resources available to help you get started. Include websites, organizations, advice or recommendations from friends, scholarships, grants, community, state or federal programs, etc.

Once you have your list, get started on the short-term goals, things you can tackle right away. Keep in mind that you should strive to make some progress each day or week toward your intermediate and long-term goals as well. This can take the form of gathering information, checking out websites, filling out applications, taking a class, and so on. Remember that your list of goals is only a guideline. Nothing is written in stone. Keep it flexible and always consider it a work in progress. Once you achieve a goal, take time to acknowledge your achievement. Give yourself the credit you deserve.

While you are pursuing your goals, and especially when you reach milestones in your sobriety (first year of sobriety, for example), take a moment to reflect how much differently you feel now than at the beginning of your recovery. Each small step you take toward the future means that much more progress that you have made. Your overall outlook will change as well. You will look forward to each day as a new opportunity to make a difference.

During this time, if not before, you may have been able to repair your relationship with your loved ones. If they have not forgiven you, they may have at least accepted your sincere expression of wanting to make amends. You will find that you will be able to move on. To do this most effectively, you need to be able to forgive yourself. Forgiveness from others, including your loved ones, has more of a chance.

There is an old expression, When one door closes, another opens. This is true in recovery from addiction as well. Open your heart to be able to receive love, as well as give it.

What If Your Loved Ones Cannot Forgive Your Addiction is a post from: Drug Addiction Treatment

Treatment for addiction is hard work. Depending on the type of addiction, and in cases in which there are co-occurring disorders and multiple addictions, it is harder for some than for others. In all cases, however, there’s a critical tipping point that loved ones and supporters of the addict need to look out for. Sooner or later, every addict in treatment wants to leave. The problem, and the issue, for those who care for the addict is: what to do and say when this occurs?

How Soon After Entering Treatment

Most patients in treatment who express a desire – quiet or belligerent, unsure or demanding – to leave are in the very first phase. This is the time during which their bodies are being cleansed or detoxified of the chemical or addictive substance or behavior. Often the patient experiences side-effects during the withdrawal. These side-effects may be mildly unpleasant or all the way up to severe. Again, it depends on the type of substance the individual is addicted to, how long they’ve been addicted, whether or not there is multiple substance or co-occurring substance abuse, physical and mental health, family history, and other factors.

If your loved one falls into this category – asking or demanding to leave treatment right after entering the program and during the detoxification phase, your best response is to tell them you really want them to give it a try. Let them know you understand that it is difficult and unpleasant and something they’d really rather not go through, but emphasize that it is critical for their progression to the next phase of treatment. Call on the assistance and support from the medical professionals to give you statistics and ammunition to back up your pleas.

When addicts leave treatment prematurely, they will fall right back into their old self-destructive behavior. They haven’t yet gained the understanding of their addiction or learned the tools to help them curb the incessant urges. In short, when they leave treatment too soon, they’re falling into the trap of the revolving door syndrome – in and out of treatment for addiction. When you see headlines and news stories of celebrities who can’t stay in treatment, you realize that the reluctance and refusal to go through the hard work to overcome addiction is not unique to your loved one. It can and does happen to everyone battling addiction at some point.

The key is to help your loved one overcome this hurdle – and it is a big one, make no mistake about it. So, when you hear, “I just want to come home” or “It’s too tough in here,” or words to that effect, don’t buy it. Steel yourself against the tears, recriminations, threats, anger, and cries of betrayal and abandonment and remind your loved one that you want what they want – for them to heal, to overcome their addiction. To do so, they need to remain in treatment.

No Locked Doors

It may come as a surprise that many residential addiction treatment centers have no locked doors. That means it’s surprisingly easy for patients to just walk away from treatment at any time. In fact, unless they’re under a court-ordered drug or alcohol treatment mandate, what’s to stop them?

It is also true that you cannot force someone else to give up an addictive substance or behavior if they truly don’t want to. Patients can and do learn about addiction and go through all the phases – and still come out and relapse. They may have entered treatment because of family pressure to do so, or out of a belief that if they did, a loved one wouldn’t leave them, or because their job or a legal issue demanded they get treatment. But no matter why the patient originally enters treatment, with no locked doors and no one strong-arming them to stay, it’s so tempting and so easy to just leave.

Counter this fact by stating, right up front, that you are aware there are no locked doors in the facility (if this is true in the treatment center where your loved one is getting treatment). While nothing can prevent them from leaving, you would consider it a mark of profound respect and commitment if your loved one does the right thing and remains in treatment for the duration of the program.

Familiar Arguments

Be prepared for arguments, however, and these can be pretty compelling at times.

• I’m too lonely. I miss you, my family and my friends.
• The food here stinks. It’s all greasy (or fattening or tasteless, etc.) and they never give you enough.
• There are a bunch of lowlifes here. I really don’t belong here.
• How could you stick me in a place like this?
• I can’t get a good night’s sleep. The other patients moan or talk or carry on all hours. The bed’s too lumpy (or hard). There aren’t enough blankets.
• They won’t let me watch my favorite TV programs.
• They won’t let me stay up as late as I like. And I have to get up too early.
• The work is too hard.
• I don’t like telling my private thoughts to a group of strangers.
• I don’t like my therapist.
• I feel like a prisoner.
• I promise I won’t touch alcohol (or drugs, gambling, or other addictive behavior) any more. Just let me come home. Please!
• If you love me, you’ll let me come home.
• I hate you for what you’ve done to me, telling me I have to stay here.
• I’m going to kill you if you don’t let me come home.
• When I get out of here, I’m never coming back home. Then you’ll see what you’ve done.
• Was it really so bad when I was home? I’ll try to do better. Just give me a chance. I don’t need to stay here any longer. I’ve really learned my lesson.
• I’m afraid to stay here. The other patients are too scary. Some of them are even crazy and dangerous.

The litany of complaints and excuses goes on, of course. The clever patient will start with whatever he or she thinks will work with you and gradually move on to ever more ingenious and elaborate reasons why they need to leave treatment.
Again, do your homework and have your responses in order. You never want to be caught without an appropriate comment. That will just give the addict an edge to chip away at your resolve.

Maintain Contact with Treatment Staff

You should never be in the dark about what’s going on with your loved one’s treatment program. From the outset, the treatment staff of professionals wants to keep you informed at every step of the way. Why? It’s in the best interests of the patient and the family that you are kept abreast of progress or difficulties so that modifications in the treatment plan can be implemented.
Sometimes medication is recommended to help patients reduce or eliminate withdrawal symptoms. After the detoxification phase, when the addict enters the actual treatment program (learning about his or her addiction, identifying triggers, learning coping skills, how to prevent relapse, etc.), medication may be prescribed to continue to help with urges, anxiety, depression and/or other physical and mental conditions.

There will be times when you will not be permitted to have contact with the patient. Usually, this is during the detoxification phase. Other times, there are limits on visitation. This is generally to keep order in the facility, not disturb patients during individual and group counseling, and is common to all facilities. Just like hospital visiting hours, residential addiction treatment centers will have regular times for visitation. By keeping in touch with the treatment staff, you will be kept apprised of any changes in these dates and times, as well as know if there’s something urgent that requires your presence in between regularly scheduled visitation.

When a particular treatment modality doesn’t appear to be working, or is not working as effectively as the treatment professionals hope, you will be consulted about changing or augmenting the plan to incorporate something different. There are many different types of treatment modalities, and any such change will be carefully explained to you. This way, the loved ones of the addict are kept informed of all aspects of the patient’s overall treatment program.

It’s often during a period when things seem to be at a stalemate that addicts want to leave treatment. The treatment staff can work with you to devise strategies to keep the patient motivated and overcome their desire to leave.

Family Education Helps

Most residential, and many inpatient or outpatient hospital addiction treatment centers and facilities offer family education or family counseling as part of the addict’s overall treatment program. Take part in such groups if at all possible.

Why? You need to learn as much as you can about your loved one’s addiction, the reasons why it started, the symptoms, warning signs of relapse, triggers, how family members are enablers, how to support without enabling, and many other subjects. Through films, lectures, group discussions and one-on-one counseling, you and other family members can be better prepared to encourage your loved one to remain in counseling – and be in a better position to continue providing support and encouragement when he or she completes treatment and returns home.

After all, if the situation at home has not changed, the addict is very likely to relapse – and often quite quickly.

Join 12-Step Groups for Family Members

It’s also tough on the family members when a loved one is in treatment. Often, you don’t know where to turn. You may feel that there’s a stigma attached to treatment for drug or alcohol addiction, compulsive gambling, compulsive sexual behavior, eating disorders, overwork, etc., and feel shame, disgust, anger, betrayal, disappointment, disillusionment, hopelessness and despair. Yes, all these emotions are common to family members, just as they are for the addicts themselves. You need help dealing with them, as well as the consequences (legal, social, financial, familial, etc.) that go along with addiction in the family.
Addiction experts strongly recommend that family members join 12-step groups specifically organized for family members, friends and loved ones of addicts. These are fellowships of individuals who have all experienced similar situations to yours. They know what it feels like to have no one to turn to – and they will help you with support and encouragement as you make your way through this troubling time.

You don’t have to say anything if you don’t want to. Just listen to the stories of others, the kinds of solutions that worked for them, the helpful suggestions of others in the group. You may find someone in particular that you can relate to, a person with whom you feel you want to confide privately. That’s what these 12-step groups are all about. They want to help you heal, just as others have helped them to heal.

There’s no cost to attend these meetings, although contributions are always welcome. Besides in-person meetings, there are meetings held by telephone and via the Internet. All of the 12-step family organizations have websites and some offer blogs and chat as well.

Pick up Literature

Check out the available literature on the websites of the 12-step family organizations. There are recommended titles for books on the particular type of addiction, or problem with addiction, how addiction affects family members, coming back after addiction, addiction and its effect on children, and many more. There are also CDs and DVDs available. Much of the literature is available to download in an Adobe Acrobat document, or it can be ordered in hard-copy for a nominal fee.

Check out Links and Other Resources

Once you start looking through the 12-step group websites, you’ll find there are links and other resources you can click through. These may prove invaluable in helping you to devise creative ways to deal with your loved one’s expressed desire to leave treatment.

The Long Haul

Look at it this way. You want to do everything you can to ensure that your loved one remains in treatment for as long as it takes. The very least is that he or she completes the entire program, but it doesn’t end there.

After treatment, your loved one will be in recovery. And it’s what he or she learned during treatment, along with the resolve and determination to remain clean and sober, which will help them stay clear of drugs, alcohol and other addictive behavior.
Be prepared for the long haul, because treatment for addiction is just the beginning of a lifetime of recovery. This is not a bad thing. In fact, recovery is the goal and treatment is the first step. Help your loved one by giving him or her all the love, encouragement and support you can – and insist that they remain in treatment.

When Your Loved One Wants to Leave Treatment is a post from: Drug Addiction Treatment

Drug addicts will lie and tell you anything they think you want to hear, or that they feel they have to say at the moment. This isn’t a fantasy. It’s a fact. Even the most docile, mild-mannered, unassuming person can’t control what comes out of their mouth once they’re in the grip of addiction. Just because you’ve known the person all your life, are married to him or her, doesn’t matter. In the fierce hold of their habit, the addict has lost touch with reality and all that goes with it. As a concerned loved one, friend, or coworker, there’s something you need to know. Caution: you’re entering the drug addict’s spin zone.

What is the Spin Zone?

Usually, when you hear the words spin zone you think of politics, business, sports or Hollywood. “Spin” is another word used by public relations experts to cast a more favorable light on a person, company, product or situation that has come under scrutiny following a major blunder, fair or unfair criticism, police matter, legal issues or social snafu. What it really is, however, is embroidery of the facts. It’s telling the story in a way that’s designed to favor your client, company, product or situation – regardless of the truth.

In the world of the drug addict, spin takes on a slightly different meaning as well. There is certainly considerable embroidery of the truth, but it may or may not be deliberate. Depending on the substance the addict abuses, he or she may still have some semblance of rational thinking left. Still able to separate reality from illusion or hallucination, the drug addict may wish to spare the feelings of family and friends. He or she may try to hide evidence of their addiction by telling what they think are only little white lies.

As the addiction progresses, however, all efforts to try to maintain a normal life disappear in a cloud of lies, half-truths, deliberate omissions, anger, hurt, betrayal and loss. In a sense, everything in the addict’s world spins. It’s not just what comes out of his or her mouth that doesn’t make sense. Nothing makes sense. It’s important for you to understand why.

It’s All About the Fix

Addiction is, by definition, abuse of a substance to the point where the individual continues to use despite negative consequences, needs to use more of the substance and more often in order to achieve the same high. They have gone far beyond physical dependence on the drug – whether the drug is alcohol, illegal street or prescription drugs, or a combination of drugs, or compulsive sexual, eating or gambling – to a point where they physically have to have the drug (or engage in the activity). Their lives become all about the fix. They crave the high, the euphoria they feel when they inject, smoke, snort, pop, inhale, drink, eat or satiate themselves with the drug or activity. Nothing else matters – family or friends, not the job, not their health or finances, and, certainly, not their future.

While loved ones and friends of the addict can argue, cajole, scream, threaten, or try to gloss over, dismiss or ignore what’s happening in a vain attempt to make it go away, the fact is that addiction will not go away by itself. In most cases, this is beyond the control of the addict. They can’t stop by force of will – despite what they may tell you. Remember, their words are part of their spin zone. They will tell you what you want to hear. In the end, however, they’re only concerned about maintaining their habit. Their primary thought is about the next fix. It’s always about the next fix.

Illness vs. Weakness

Whichever side of the fence you are on – and there are many addiction experts who claim one or the other – whether addiction is considered an illness or a weakness isn’t what really counts in the overall scheme of things. Some critics of the illness argument say that when someone is ill they’re not responsible, so saying an addict has an illness gives them an excuse to go on being an addict. On the weakness side, the criticism usually centers on the fact that people with very strong will and determination may be unable to overcome addiction on their own, so it has to have a physical component.

This is not meant to debate which side is right. The point to be made is that addiction will persist and progress to a point of no return, even to death, without treatment. Sheer willpower won’t do it alone, although the addict has to want to change before any treatment will work. Unless and until the underlying behaviors are changed, the spin – and the addiction – will continue.

Brain Functions Falter

What actually happens during the various stages of addiction to make the drug addict so untrustworthy, unreliable, and unpredictable, with wild mood swings and often violent behavior? It has to do with brain chemistry. Repeated drug use disrupts the brain’s complex and finely-tuned network that governs all thoughts, emotions, drives, and perceptions. Over time, such disruption distorts and changes a person’s needs and desires, replacing them with a single motivating drive to seek and use drugs.

All drugs of abuse involve activating the same brain circuits as behaviors linked to survival, such as eating and sex. Use of drugs or alcohol releases a surge of the brain chemical called dopamine which, in turn, leads to feelings of pleasure or euphoria. The brain remembers this feeling and wants to experience it again and again.

What happens is this: within seconds of entering the blood, the drug cause dramatic changes in the brain synapse. It completely bypasses the body’s five senses and enters the brain’s pleasure center, causing a jolt of intense pleasure.
The brain has to try to adapt to these abuse drugs and does so by shutting down or reducing the number of dopamine receptors at these synapses. As the body comes down from the high, the drug user needs more of the drug the next time in order to replicate the high. This is known as tolerance.

As the user continues to abuse drugs, other areas of the brain outside the reward pathway are altered. These include physical changes to regions involved in judgment, learning and memory. In essence, the brain becomes hard-wired, and the drug-seeking behavior becomes habit-driven, an automatic reflex. The user has become an addict.

Another neurotransmitter affected by repeated drug abuse is serotonin. The role of serotonin in the brain is to regulate many of the body’s functions, including body temperature, sleep, mood, appetite and pain. Increasing use of abuse drugs alter the serotonin pathway and can lead to obsessive-compulsive behavior, depression, and anxiety disorders.

How the Addict Displays Spin

The proficiency with which the drug addict is able to manifest some outward signs of normal life changes over time, as more and more of the brain’s regions are damaged by continued drug use. It’s important to note that different drugs affect the brain in more severe and immediate ways. Addicts who abuse multiple drugs simultaneously, or combine drug and alcohol abuse, or have co-occurring mental disorders, may show more signs, or more severe signs, than a single-substance addict. Here, then, are some – but not all – of the most common behaviors that show the addict’s spin.

• Confusion – Usually when you think of a person who is confused you identify that with someone suffering from Alzheimer’s or some other debilitating mental condition. The origins may be different, but the behavior is the same. The addict often displays confusion over seemingly normal situations, not knowing what to do, where they are, finding it difficult to comprehend. They may be sitting at the dinner table and not know which utensil to pick up, or not realize they’ve already eaten their meal and ask for more. Confusion is also related to memory problems in that both occur more frequently in addicts.

• Inability to reason properly – Following a sequence pattern to make a decision involves the ability to reason. This is an ability that suffers as the addict continues to use. You may be discussing why your son or daughter should not be allowed to go to a party after disobeying family rules, getting bad grades or into some trouble at school. The addicted parent may come up with some incredibly faulty reasons why the child should be allowed to go or, on the other hand, some equally unreasonable reasons why not. Faulty reasoning may also be accompanied by wild mood swings as the drug’s effects wane and the addict is in need of another fix.

• Problems with judgment – Errors in judgment occur more frequently. Not only is the addict often confused and unable to reason properly, but he or she cannot accurately determine the right course of action at any given moment. This is particularly dangerous if the individual attempts to drive, operate dangerous equipment or perform a delicate task, such as surgery or using high-speed or hazardous equipment. The expression “judgment call” doesn’t apply to an addict. In the addict’s distorted world, whatever they decide is usually on the wrong side of judgment. They aren’t able to adequately judge and this only worsens over time.

• Learning and memory problems – Addicts find it increasingly difficult to remember even simple tasks, let alone learn and comprehend complex instructions. Short-term memory is profoundly affected as more and more brain circuits are damaged due to continued drug use. In your interactions with the drug addict, you may begin to see that he or she forgets important engagements, doesn’t show up for meals on time or at all, doesn’t pay bills or attend to financial or other responsibilities or other problems associated with learning and memory.

• Concentration suffers – Jitteriness, fidgeting, jumping all over the place in conversation – all are signs that the addict’s concentration is being affected by drugs. He or she can’t seem to stay on one topic, which may be extremely aggravating at the least, and, potentially, very damaging or harmful in the worst case scenario.

• Difficulty separating reality from illusion – Certain drugs of abuse such as hallucinogens cause addicts to have difficulty separating what’s real from what’s only an illusion, a fantasy, not reality. You can’t have a logical conversation – or any conversation, really – with someone who is so far gone that they’re seeing and hearing things that aren’t there. You’ll have to wait until they come down from the drug in order to have any hope of getting through to them.

• Problems with motor ability and space and time – Some drugs affect the addict by slowing down their motor ability or their perception of space and time. They move slower, or jerk uncontrollably in involuntary leg or arm movements. They may act as if they’ve just nodded off for a second when in reality they’ve been in a drug stupor for hours or longer. Having any conversation or interaction with an addict who is exhibiting any of these signs is next to impossible. Again, you will need to wait until they have come down from the drug to have any, hopefully, meaningful conversation.

How You Can Counter the Drug Addict’s Spin

By now, you’re probably wondering what, if anything, you can do to counter the spin you get from the drug addict. The best advice is to educate yourself on all aspects of addiction, particularly to the substance or substances your friend or loved one is addicted to. You need to know exactly what it is that you’re dealing with. This is important because different drugs have different side-effects, and short-term and long-term consequences. The risk for overdose, serious and potentially life-threatening consequences is greater for some drugs than for others. Knowledge is your first powerful tool.

Next, get help. While in most cases the addict has to be ready and willing to acknowledge that he or she needs help and then commit to getting treatment (and stay with it), and you can’t help them yourself, you can and should seek help for yourself. Dealing with an addict in any stage of the addictive cycle is difficult at best and can be impossible or even dangerous, especially if there are children present in the environment.

There are 12-step organizations for friends and loved ones of addicts that can provide support to you – whether or not your addicted loved one or friend decides to seek treatment. Check these organizations out on the Internet and see if they’re a good fit for you. Choose how you want to interact with them – strictly using their site to obtain tips and links to resources, or by participating in live meetings, or meetings via phone or Internet.

• Al-Anon/Alateen
• Adult Children of Alcoholics
• Nar-Anon Family Groups
• Co-Anon Family Groups
• Co-Dependents Anonymous
• Co-Dependents of Sex Addicts
• Gam-Anon
• S-Anon

Also investigate potential treatment programs for the time when the addict is ready to (or is forced to for legal or job-related issues) get treatment. Look into residential treatment centers, outpatient or inpatient hospital facilities and/or private counseling. Make sure they specialize in the particular addiction. Inquire about special financing, grants or scholarships, or sliding-scale or pay-as-you-go programs.

Remember, the spin will continue as long as the addiction continues. If you are going to remain with the drug addict, you will need all the help you can get to remain safe, sane and secure yourself, as well as to be supportive of the addict’s desire to change.

Caution: Entering the Drug Addict’s Spin Zone is a post from: Drug Addiction Treatment

When a person experiences a traumatic event they often internalize the event and re-experience it. In effect, they are not only traumatized during the “activating” event, but every time something triggers a memory of the event. A traumatic event is an experience that causes physical, emotional, psychological distress, or harm. It is an event that is perceived and experienced as a threat to one’s safety or to the stability of one’s world.

The most well known cases of PTSD are seen in war veterans. Vietnam War vets who suffered from PTSD showed significant impairment in their ability to re-integrate into the “normal” (that is, non-combat) world. Many of these vets did not seek treatment, but even more disheartening is the fact that many probably could have been treated if effective programs had been available. Now with Iraq War veterans also showing significant signs of post-traumatic stress, we are poised to either end up with another generation of battle-rattled young men or to face the problem with the resources these war vets deserve.

PTSD is not only caused by war. Any significant traumatic event or a series of traumas over time can lead to symptoms of PTSD. Some common causes are:

• Child or domestic abuse
• Living in a war zone or extremely dangerous neighborhood
• Sexual Assault
• Violent Attack
• Sudden death of a loved one
• Witnessing a violent death such as a homicide

One of the most effective treatments was discovered incidentally by Francine Shapiro, PhD, in 1987. When Shapiro was hiking and became anxious and overwhelmed, she noticed that as she scanned the environment with her eyes, moving them back and forth, she began to relax. This led her to assume that eye movements had a desensitizing effect, and when she experimented with it clinically, she found that other people had the same response. It became apparent that eye movements alone weren’t comprehensive, so she added other treatment elements and developed Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing – known as EMDR.

Untreated trauma can be a significant source of psychic pain and emotional turmoil, which leads many of those suffering to self-medicate with alcohol or drugs. If those people seek treatment for drug addiction, they are at high risk for relapse if they do not find a way to re-process and cope with the trauma.

One of the current practitioners of EMDR is Los Angeles-based psychotherapist Barbara Brawerman, Psy.D, MFT a Certified EMDR therapist and an EMDRIA-Approved EMDR Consultant who has trained in affect regulation skills training as well as somatic-based psychotherapies. Brawerman became interested in EMDR when she noticed that traditional talk therapies weren’t working for her complex clients who had multiple diagnoses, particularly those who also suffered from alcohol or drug addiction. She wanted to develop a more integrated approach that treated both the left and right hemispheres of the brain, which she found in EMDR.

Brawerman teamed up with Promises, a Malibu drug addiction treatment program, to develop a trauma recovery program that uses EMDR.

“Many people struggling with addiction have underlying traumas and use alcohol or drugs to withdraw and numb their memories; when the drugs and alcohol are taken away, they’re left with a sense of emotional overwhelm that is not alleviated through talk or cognitive therapies,” explains Brawerman.

Talk Therapy Doesn’t Always Work

Brawerman founds that talk therapy often kept patients stuck in the traumatic event, essentially reliving it and even intensifying the traumatic feelings.

“Eye movements and bilateral stimulation remind the patient that they are still in the present. They’re attending to the trauma in the past while being consistently reminded that they’re now in a safe environment in the present with a therapist they can trust,” she explains. “Trauma lives in the right hemisphere of the brain, so treating just the left hemisphere, such as with talk therapy, doesn’t work. EMDR connects the left and ride sides of the brain, allowing the person to look inward and get in touch with his or her innate ability to heal and self-soothe.”

Originally designed to treat traumatic memories, EMDR has been found to effectively treat PTSD, panic disorders, anxiety, and other psychological distress that may follow a distressing experience. Several studies report a 77-90% remission in after just five treatments in those patients who have experienced a single traumatic event.

Brawerman believes this type of intervention lessens the risk of relapse. “If there’s a particular incident or belief about self that has been haunting a patient, if I can help to desensitize and reprocess their experience into a more healthy perspective, then when they are discharged, they’re less likely to be triggered by that experience,” Brawerman says.

Brawerman says that with those addicted to drugs it is critical to review any traumatic incidents during the developmental and individuation processes, whether a patient has the ability to separate themselves from others and adaptively define a personal relationship with the outside world.

Promises clients who have experienced trauma or overwhelming emotion meet individually with Dr. Brawerman for EMDR or emotion regulation skills training, in addition to weekly group meetings, called affect regulation group. The primary goal of EMDR and somatic therapy is to help those who have made the decision to get treatment for drug addiction with the most effective therapies available so that they have fewer risk factors for relapse when they return home.

EMDR to Treat Underlying PTSD in Drug Addiction is a post from: Drug Addiction Treatment

By Colin Gilbert

From an early age, Michael struggled with anxiety and depression. As a child, he always felt awkward in social gatherings, and, as a result, he did his best to avoid social interaction during adolescence and into his early teenage years. Solitude made him feel more comfortable, yet he couldn’t help feeling left out when he heard stories from his classmates about parties or school functions. Over time, he began to resent the social phobia and eventually decided to do something about it.

Michael had seen his dad drink beers after work and his mom share martinis with her friends, and he noticed how relaxed they seemed while drinking. So, during a family barbecue one summer afternoon, when his many relatives were socializing in the backyard, 14 year-old Michael spotted a half-empty beer and sneakily carried it around a corner. After a few cautious sips, he felt a rush of comfort and pleasure that thrilled him in a way nothing else ever had. He was tremendously excited by the foreign sensation of relaxed happiness, and before he knew it, the cup was empty. Instinctively, Michael went in search of another.

A short time later, Michael was considered “that crazy guy” at parties, doing keg stands and drinking vast quantities of whatever type of alcohol he could get his hands on. He liked the feeling of being known for something and the popularity that came with it, and before he knew it, he was secretly drinking before school to loosen up and remain “that crazy guy” at school. As an adult, Michael is now an alcoholic struggling with serious health issues. His marriage ended in divorce when his wife left him because of his drinking, and his life is spiraling out of control. And it all began with that half-cup of beer when he was 14.

For many people like Michael, alcohol and other drugs provide relief from daily struggles. However, for those who routinely look for something to “take the edge off,” serious problems with dependency may lie just under the surface. What may initially seem like a handy tool for dealing with uncomfortable situations can quickly become an all-encompassing, devastating addiction. Reliance on drugs like alcohol, tobacco, marijuana, or painkillers to soothe the mind is nothing short of addiction, warranting a change in behavior and, in many cases, professional help.

Mental health disorders like depression, anxiety, and bipolar disorder are the most common targets of self-medication, although other conditions, such as post-traumatic stress disorder or various forms of chronic physical distress, can also lead individuals to administer their own form of treatment.

The potential dangers of self-medicating are plentiful, and chief among them is the threat of addiction. A 2007 report in the American Journal of Psychiatry identified a clear correspondence between social anxiety and alcohol dependence. The report explained that people suffering from anxiety are vulnerable to a snowballing reliance on alcohol because as alcohol wears off, the resulting withdrawals can cause greater anxiety, which in turn increases the likelihood of further drinking. Alcohol can also exacerbate feelings of depression as it wears off, tempting users to drink more.

Although self-medicating is often considered to be an adult behavior, young people are also at risk. A 2008 report from the White House Office of National Drug Control Policy (ONDCP) revealed an alarming link between teen drug use and depression. The study described a common scenario of teens treating feelings of depression with marijuana and other drugs, only to prolong their suffering and develop more significant mental health problems in the future. According to the report, depressed teens are twice as likely as non-depressed teens to use illegal drugs, and many become addicted.

Those who self-medicate with alcohol or other drugs are urged to seek healthier, less dangerous methods of coping with their discomfort. Recommended alternatives to self-medication include improved dietary habits, regular exercise, natural remedies, counseling, and other forms of therapy. Also, a doctor can be consulted to decide whether prescription medicines would be beneficial. There are many healthy, legal options available for overcoming every kind of mental and physical pain, and for escaping the bondage of addiction.

Self-medication with drugs and alcohol may seem like an innocuous way to make it through the day, but in reality, it is not a prudent choice. Alcohol and other drugs mask unpleasant symptoms but never reach the roots of the discomfort. In order to truly conquer chronic pain, experts say the suffering must be courageously faced. Then, strategies for working through the hardship can be considered, and the affliction can be genuinely overcome.

The Dangers of Self-Medicating with Drugs and Alcohol is a post from: Drug Addiction Treatment

There is a common perception that “club drugs” are harmless and meant for just having fun at parties. More and more young, and not so young, people today are leading increasingly frenetic social lives and looking to maximize the “fun” experience while they can. In the process they encounter more than just food, music, and drinks while at parties. They come across things like Ecstasy, Rohypnol, and GHB. These are thought to be fun drugs, to be taken for a good time with no side effects.

Although the immediate side effects of these drugs may seem to be minimal, research shows that these drugs have an insidious long-term effect on the brain and can, in due course, cause serious mental problems. Paranoia, hallucinations, delusions, amnesias, and long-term cognitive degeneration are just some of the effects that these ‘fun’ club drugs can have. In fact, cases of extreme psychosis leading to suicides or serious self-inflicted injuries are not unknown.

Because the club drugs are usually consumed at clubs or private parties, they are often mixed with alcohol which increases the chances of mental and emotional damage. Some of the club drugs affect the same part of the brain as alcohol and this combined effect can easily cause neural overload that can result in serious psychological problems.

The reactions of individuals to these drugs varies greatly. Some have little or no apparent reaction to these drugs. This may encourage others to take them and these people may suffer from far more extreme reactions that could range from psychotic episodes to even death. Another problem is that these club drugs are circulated in large quantities in clubs and parties and are often adulterated, so as to ensure that the required quantity is available. The adulterating substances are often highly toxic or else may be chemicals that, when combined with the drugs, can form dangerous and even lethal compounds.

Many of these club drugs are colorless and tasteless, and so it is easy to slip them into the drinks of those who may not be willing to try them. This creates a growing market for these drugs. Besides this, they are often also used for other criminal purposes. GHB is commonly used to lower a person’s powers of resistance and cause short term memory loss, which is why it is known as the “date rape drug.”

Some of the common club drugs are:

• LSD or “acid” is the classical “trip” drug from the 1960s. It is known to cause long term personality changes and disorders.
• Meth or Speed, Chalk or Ice is the most popular and is known to cause psychotic behavior, aggression, memory loss and heart problems.
• Ketamine or “Special K” is an anesthetic that can cause delirium, breathing problems, amnesia and extremely high blood pressure.
• Rohypnol is colorless and tasteless. It causes short term memory loss and can result in serious gastric problems.
• GHB or Liquid Ecstasy can, if taken in excess, result in placing the user in a coma that could lead to death.
• Ecstasy is a hallucinogen that is known to cause loss of mental abilities, memory and sleep disorders.

Club Drugs: Harmless ‘Fun’ or Dangerous Game? is a post from: Drug Addiction Treatment

A new study enabled scientists to see exactly how cocaine modifies brain activity, which offers insight into the development of medications to treat cocaine addiction. Scientists used a new molecular analysis technique to observe changes in the gene activity of mice that were injected with cocaine.

Dr. Nora Volkow, the director of the US National Institute on Drug Abuse, said, “The study’s findings enable us to glimpse for the first time exactly how cocaine modifies the activity of genes in regions of the brain that that mediate reward.” She continued, “These genes represent promising new targets for the development of medications to treat cocaine addiction.”

The process showed that a family of genes called the sirtuins are activated by repeated cocaine use and prompt addiction-related behaviors in lab animals. “This analysis provides fundamentally new information about the range of genes that are altered by cocaine in this brain region,” said Dr. Eric Nestler of New York’s Mount Sinai School of Medicine. “We showed that blocking the activity of the sirtuins reduced both cocaine’s rewarding effects and the motivation to self-administer the drug.”

This means that using this information, scientists may be able to develop a drug that reduces a person’s desire for cocaine as well as the euphoric feeling that is experienced when using it.

Study Shows Promise for Developing Treatment Medication for Cocaine Addiction is a post from: Drug Addiction Treatment

In an AZ Central piece, these individuals are often entering into violent territory to help victims. One such ambulance driver is Jose “Cache” Gomez who recently entered a rough barrio that is familiar territory for cartel violence. A victim – who claimed he was shot just walking down the street – received treatment, begrudging the help every step of the way.

Mexican authorities reported in January that 40 people were gunned down, beheaded or otherwise eliminated in the cartels’ battle for control over Nogales. In one 24-hour period in February, six were murdered and at least that many wounded.

In this border city, population remains around 200,000. Last year proved to be the deadliest ever as police reported 136 assassinations. With more than twice the population, Mesa reported nine killings during the same period.

Residents in Nogales cannot ignore the carnage or completely avoid collateral damage as bullets regularly fly through neighborhoods, along thoroughfares, at hotels and in restaurants. The violence intensifies after dark as residents are accustomed to the staccato echo of assault rifles.

With this ongoing violence, the only group that gets close to the combat are those crews in the ambulances. While most lend a hand without incident, a Cruz Roja dispatcher in Sinaloa was murdered on the job. This 20-year-old was working in a clinic where a man with a bullet wound sought treatment. A gunman barged in and opened fire, killing the wounded man and the dispatcher.
 

Red Cross Ambulance Crews Get Dangerously Close to Drug-Related Violence is a post from: Drug Addiction Treatment

In a recent Jamaica Observer report, the reality that no other nation in the world can outspend the United States on illicit drugs and on the illegal use of drugs hits very close to home. In other words, the United States is responsible for the promotion, maintenance and survival of the multi-billion dollar drug trade throughout the world.

Secretary of State Hillary Clinton recently visited Mexico and acknowledged the role this country plays in the overall drug trade. Clinton asserted that the U.S. demand for illegal drugs and illegal gun trades is helping to drive the drug war.

Part of what is continuing to fuel this dilemma is the reality that more emphasis is placed on the supply side of things rather than the demand. As more and more efforts are expended on preventing these drugs from entering the country, traffickers are increasingly successful at avoiding the prevention methods and delivering to their customers.

Even though the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Administration has reported relatively stable numbers in terms of drug use, the level of drug addiction in the population is still at an alarming level. In fact, while overall use among adolescents has declined, illicit use of prescription drugs between the 18 to 25 age groups has risen.

Drug addiction continues to threaten the health of society, plain and simple. What users may view as their own personal addiction is really something much bigger as it contributes to the overall problem within this nation. As long as the user continues to demand product, it will still be delivered.
 

United States Drives Illicit Drug Demand is a post from: Drug Addiction Treatment

“What I try to always explain to people is that we can’t blame Hollywood, it’s not Hollywood,” he said. “Those are bad choices that I made. I made some stupid personal choices. But I can’t blame Hollywood.”

“When the show got canceled is when my whole life fell apart because everything caught up with me,” he explained. “At 12 years old I was molested by my publicist and my father took my publicist’s side."

Bridges said it was after the successful ‘70s sitcom ended its eight-season run that his drug addiction ensued. “People don’t realize that during the process of the show, I was always very professional, so that kind of kept me together,” he said.

Once the actor had more time on his hands, he said he began to deal with his past.
“No one ever goes into addiction thinking that you’re going to get addicted to drugs. You do it to cover the pain up,” he said. “But then when I got caught up in addiction, Hollywood didn’t throw me away, I threw Hollywood away.”

Karen Berg of FoxNews.com writes that luckily for Bridges, his mistakes did not cost him his life, as they may have fellow child star Corey Haim, who died last week of an apparent prescription drug overdose.

“A lot of people don’t feel like they have a problem and that’s one of the biggest problems,” said Bridges. “One of the biggest things with Corey Haim was [that he] thought that he was just taking prescription medication, which if you take it according to what the doctor tells you, you’re going to be okay. But if you take it the way an addict is going to take it—take a bunch of them and don’t listen to what the prescription bottle says—that’s what happened.”

Bridges’ co-star, Dana Plato, who played Kimberly on the show, also battled an addiction to prescription drugs and used them to end her life in 1999.

But Bridges’ wake-up call happened years before. “For me, 17 years ago, I woke up one day and decided things had to be a little different,” said the 44-year-old. After pleading guilty to drug possession in 1993, the judge gave Bridges two options: jail or rehab.

“I chose to go to rehab,” he said. “I still wasn’t quite ready at that moment. So when I got in there I got really angry and I got really mad at the hospital [staff]. And they strapped me at four points and I was in there for three days. When you’re in your 20’s and you have a big diaper on and you were on a hit show, there has to be a change in your life,” he said.

Bridges, who has two young children, has advice for parents everywhere. “Never give up on your child. But also, you have to love your child. What I do with my kids is I tell them I love them every day, but also I tell them the truth," he said. "Our parents back then would say, ‘Do as I say, not as I do.’ And you can’t do that anymore. Children need explanations and they deserve explanations."

Former Child Star Todd Bridges Talks Addiction, Hitting Bottom is a post from: Drug Addiction Treatment