Before you rush into doing something incredibly unwise, such as turning back to drugs or alcohol, stop and take some time to think. You do have recourse. You don’t have to fall into relapse. It isn’t a given, regardless of whether or not you’ve been down this road before and succumbed to your past addictive behavior.

What should you do first if you feel you’re falling into relapse? Here are some points to consider.

That Sliding Ground is Only as Real as You Make It

First of all, you have to get hold of yourself. Stop allowing your thoughts to drift into the safe zone of mind-numbing drugs or alcohol. That’s a slippery slope and you’re bound to lose your footing if you keep thinking along those lines.

Maybe you need to look in the mirror to be frightened into reality. That haggard, haunted image staring back at you may just be enough to set you straight.

Instead of allowing yourself to slip away, resolve to take some proactive measures, beginning right now.

Get on the Phone

What time is it? The answer for you is that it’s time to take action. No matter the hour of the day or night, your best friend at this point in your life is your sponsor. Don’t fret that you’re disturbing your sponsor if you pick up the phone and call at three o’clock in the morning. That’s what your sponsor committed to when agreeing to take you on as a sponsee.

After all, each of us in recovery has been through some rough patches. Who doesn’t need a friend to call on that knows what we’re going through? This is especially true when we fear that we’re in danger of relapse.

Of course, what is even better than conversing on the phone is to meet in person. This recommendation, however, is pretty much time dependent. It’s one thing to drag your sponsor out of bed with one eye half open to listen to your woes on the phone. It’s quite another to expect your sponsor to meet up with you in the wee hours.

Not that this is completely out of the realm of possibility. It very much depends on the type of relationship you have with your sponsor. If, for example, your sponsor tells you repeatedly that he or she is there for you, no matter what time of the day or night, you have to believe that this is true. Your sponsor wouldn’t say it if it wasn’t heartfelt.

What to Say

There’s no set dialogue that you should engage in. No one can tell you the right way to begin your conversation. What is on your mind at this point is what matters. If you are afraid that you’re going to pick up that bottle and drain it dry or go out and score drugs or engage in any of your past addictive behavior, what you want most is to get this out of your thoughts and get past the temptation or urge to use.

You could say that you’re afraid you’re going to relapse, or that you’re standing outside the bar and may not be able to stop yourself from going in. Maybe you’ve already begun to pour a drink or laid out a line or opened the bottle of OxyContin or Vicodin. You just want someone to talk you out of what you know is an extremely short trip back into relapse.

Some people break down and cry. Others can barely speak above a whisper. Some may not even be able to find the words. What you say isn’t as important as the fact that you pick up the phone and make the effort to reach out and ask for help.

And help will always be available to you.

If There’s a Meeting, Go to It

With a quick pep talk and words of encouragement from your sponsor, if it’s at all within the realm of possibility and there’s a meeting going on that you can get to, by all means, pull yourself together and hightail it over to the group meeting.

In the rooms is the best place to find the kind of support and encouragement that may very well keep you from falling into relapse. The shared commitment to sobriety is one that is very profound and certainly cannot be underestimated. Right next to you in the room is another individual who may have been on the edge of despair and relapse just days ago.

Old-timers in the room may have some profound words of wisdom, relate stories of how they were able to face down relapse and come out on the other side feeling stronger and more capable of withstanding future periods of stress, tension, overpowering urges and other issues common to early recovery.

Besides, getting out of the confines of your home and being with like-minded people can be the very motivation to help you get past this current rough patch. It is an action that you knowingly take, with the firm intention of benefiting your sobriety and keeping you on the path of recovery.

Make Use of Online Meetings

Look at it this way. If you have access to a computer, there’s always a meeting available, somewhere in the world. It may not be in your time zone, but what does it matter? The point is that recovery is an ongoing journey. It isn’t something that’s only going on during the daytime hours in your part of the country or region of the world. If it’s nighttime here, it’s daytime elsewhere.

Perhaps your sponsor is on his or her way to meet you or is out of town and temporarily out of reach. Maybe you’ve already had a conversation, even gone to a meeting, and now are home and feeling in need of additional support. That’s the beauty of online 12-step meetings. They’re there when you need them.

Don’t be Tempted to Go it Alone

Above all, don’t fall into the common trap of believing that you can go it alone. That’s one of the myths about addiction and recovery that too many fall prey to. The truth is that going it alone is probably what got you in trouble with drugs or alcohol in the first place. You thought you had it all under control, could manage your usage and not suffer any consequences. Look where that got you.

Now that you’re on the path of recovery, why jeopardize it by taxing your inner resources to the breaking point? You’re just in the process of healing. You don’t have enough time in recovery yet to be thoroughly familiar with how all this works. That’s another reason why you need your sponsor to guide you through this turbulent time. No, your sponsor isn’t your therapist or counselor, but he or she certainly knows a thing or two about what relapse feels like, how it comes on and, more importantly, how to get through it and past it when it does come crashing down on you.

None of this is something that you can do for yourself, by yourself. You need the support and encouragement of others, plain and simple.

Maybe More Treatment is a Good Plan

For some, the fear of falling into relapse may be the result of not having enough time in rehab. There’s no absolute when it comes to how long it will take for treatment to "take" or for you to "get it" and be ready to enter recovery with all the necessary tools.

Rehab is just the stepping-stone to recovery. Sometimes, while there are many incredible tools and techniques available to individuals during treatment, the person isn’t able to absorb them all, either because they’re not ready or have too many other issues they need to deal with at the time or for other reasons.

Perhaps a return to treatment or additional therapy or one-on-one counseling is a good plan. You undoubtedly know that if you relapse completely, something’s definitely not right. Going back into treatment may be the only way to get back on your feet. But then again, not every individual requires more time in rehab. Some can benefit from aftercare or continuing care counseling.

See what is available to you as part of your overall treatment plan. If continuing care or aftercare isn’t available, your next step may be to see what other resources in the form of counseling or therapy is available to you. Start with where you completed your treatment in the first place. Get recommendations from them or from your family doctor, maybe ask your sponsor or others in the rooms about peer-support groups or other avenues you can pursue.

Don’t just think that you did your time in treatment and that’s all there is. That’s never all there is. Some of us may need more therapy to get to a point where we feel ready to be fully engaged in recovery. Some of us have medical or psychological issues that need to be addressed before we feel more capable in making good decisions about our recovery – including being able to withstand relapse.

What About Family?

If you have family members who support and encourage your recovery, by all means ask for their help at this time of your need. Don’t be ashamed or afraid that they’ll think poorly of you for asking. After all, these are your family members. They want the best for you, and even if they don’t fully understand what you’re going through, if they are willing to stand by you and help you navigate this tough time, you will be smart to accept their offer to help.

Your spouse or loved one could drive you to a meeting, for example. He or she could attend a meeting for family members that may be going on at the same time or could just wait for you. If you don’t think you’re up to finding an online meeting, a family member might be able to help you out in this area as well.

The point is that when you’re at a low point and in danger of relapse, you need all the help you can get. If that means a loving offer of assistance from someone in your immediate household, that’s more than many in recovery have. Be smart and recognize that your family is a strong asset in your recovery journey. And it’s not only in the tough times but also in the good times.

Got it Licked? Learn from the Situation

Let’s cut to the end of this scenario. Suppose you’ve felt you were falling into relapse, got in touch with your sponsor, went to a meeting, made use of online or family assistance to get through the rough patch and came out victorious on the other side. In other words, you didn’t relapse and now you’re wondering what this all means for your recovery.

In short, use this as a learning experience. Figure out what worked, what resonated for you, whether that was words from your sponsor or someone in the rooms, or a combination of suggestions that others made that you tried out and they seemed to get you past the urge to use again.

While it might seem too fresh and raw for you to make sense of it all, do your best. Surely there’s something that sticks out in your mind. It could be a phrase that was repeated. It could be the confident words of assurance. It could be the feeling of support and acceptance, even the feelings of love that you felt from others. What made the difference for you? Single it out. Write it down. Keep it handy for the next time you may need it.

The point of all this isn’t to add to your workload. In fact, it shouldn’t be regarded as work at all. What it is, is the opportunity to accumulate strategies and techniques to use so that you have a full and effective recovery toolkit.

Be aware, however, that relapse can occur at any time, prompted by any number of situations. Keep in mind that you never want to allow yourself to get in the position where you’re hungry, angry, lonely or tired (H.A.L.T.). You have to take care of your basic needs. If you fail to do so, you’re setting yourself up for falling prey to old memories, and a return to your self-destructive ways.

What If You Do Relapse?

Let’s face it. Some of us will relapse. It’s not a crime, nor is it all that uncommon, especially in the first six months of recovery. So, suppose you do relapse, what then?

Resolve to pick up the pieces and resume your recovery journey. Get back in touch with the commitment you made to being clean and sober and start over, if that’s what it takes. Return to rehab if you need it. Go back to meetings, going multiple times a day. Redouble your efforts to work the Twelve Steps. Listen to what your sponsor has to say and don’t feel like you’re a failure. You’re not. You’re just human and slipped, that’s all.

The good news is that you can come back. Millions have before you and millions will after you. There’s no stigma to having relapsed. Make this a hard-learned lesson. Now you know what not to do. Maybe this time you will heed the advice and recommendations and be more attuned to what works for you in recovery.

You will be successful in your recovery journey to the extent that you put yourself into the work wholeheartedly.

Summing Up

Keeping it simple, here’s a summary of what to do first if you’re falling into relapse:

• Get hold of yourself. Resolve to take proactive measures, starting now.
• Call your sponsor, or meet in person, if at all possible.
• Don’t worry about what to say. Just say what you feel and ask for help.
• If there’s a meeting available, go to it.
• Make use of online meetings, where there’s always support available.
• Avoid the temptation to go it alone. That never worked before and likely won’t now.
• Maybe consider additional therapy or treatment to get on more solid ground.
• Make use of your loved ones and family to help you weather this crisis.
• When you’ve come through the situation, take time to learn from it. There are valuable lessons here that can help you in the days and months ahead.
• If you do relapse, resolve to get back to doing the work of recovery. Relapse doesn’t mean you’re a failure. It does mean you need to re-double your efforts and get back to what works best for you in recovery.

Slip Sliding Away: What to Do First If You’re Falling into Relapse is a post from: Drug Addiction Treatment

While this may seem like a hopelessly difficult situation, with no easy answers and no single solution that’s guaranteed to work, there are some things you can do to help your loved one get through this stressful time without going back to alcohol or drugs.

Lighten Up

First, it’s important to adopt a more lighthearted look at the entire holiday season in general. It needn’t be all that stressful if you take time to sift through all the types of demands and activities that tend to increase stress and tension around the house – and then get rid of some of them, at least temporarily.

Maybe there are just too many obligations at this time of the year, some of which would be better rescheduled to sometime after the holidays are over. Maybe it’s more a sense of duty, to bring together the extended family, to show that things are really just fine, to put everyone in a tizzy trying to out-do others in entertaining, or any of dozens of other reasons.

Let’s face it. When your loved one is just trying to hang on here during their first holiday without the crutch of booze or drugs, now is not the time to discuss potentially triggering topics like finances or getting a divorce or selling the house or even asking the boss for a raise to help meet bills.

Find a little ray of sunshine in each day. Watch comedies instead of heavy drama. Avoid the news broadcasts with their focus on sensationalism, crime, drunken driving arrests of celebrities and all that negative news.

Help with Stress Management Techniques

One way to help ward off stress, for your loved one in recovery as well as you and other members of the family, is to engage in stress reducing activities such as walking, hiking, yoga, deep breathing exercises, and meditation.

Getting enough rest is also high on the list of recommended strategies for helping to manage stress during this time of the year. Remember that one of the acronyms for those in recovery is H.A.L.T. This refers to the caution that during times when you’re hungry, angry, and lonely or tired, you’re more at risk of doing something counter-productive to recovery. So, if you notice that your loved one who’s going to be experiencing the first holiday without alcohol or drugs is looking tired, or seems frazzled, encourage him or her to get a good night’s sleep.

Of course, you can’t really stay up all hours and expect your loved one not to follow suit. So, you’ll need to set a good example and go to bed at or around the same time so you both get enough rest.

Remember that things always look different and are easier to manage if you are able to face challenges after a good night’s sleep. It’s not a panacea, but it is common sense. And it does work.

Keep in Mind This is the Disease of Addiction

When the holidays have you all in a commotion over gift-buying and tree-trimming or other aspects of the festive time of the year, it’s wise to keep in mind that your loved one in recovery has the disease of addiction. This means that even though he or she is in recovery, they still are very susceptible to relapse at any time – especially during the first few months of recovery.

If your loved one has close to a year of sobriety that still doesn’t mean that recovery is smooth sailing, however. In fact, it’s the holiday season that often pushes the newly recovered over the edge and into relapse. What the rest of us may take in stride may just be the last straw for the newly sober individual.

Case in point: all the alcohol ads on TV, in the newspapers, on billboards. The sight, sounds, smells associated with being around others drinking is like waving a red cape in front of a bull. It’s a simple example of cause and effect, with the effect being, in many cases, giving in to the overwhelming urge to use.

Maybe you hear your recovering loved one start to rationalize, saying things like “Just one will be okay,” or “I can handle it.” While you can’t be a nag about it, remind your loved one of the reasons he or she got sober in the first place. Recommend a talk with his or her 12-step sponsor as a proactive step to take.

Be Selective About Accepting Party Invitations

Getting back to the rounds of parties that are often available during the holiday season, it’s a good idea to sit this one out in many cases. Maybe you don’t have to put yourself and your newly recovered loved one into a risky situation after all. Why not be very selective about the number and types of events or party invitations that you accept?

Think about it. There’s nothing that says you have to attend every activity you’re invited to. It is possible that people are inviting you because they always have, or they feel that you’d be insulted or hurt if they didn’t invite you and your loved one – whether or not they know of your loved one being in recovery.

Even the events that are more or less pretty obligatory, like visiting with relatives or making an appearance at an annual company function, you can manage better by going late and leaving early. Have something pressing that demands your presence so that you can leave when you need to without causing any undue concern. Your loved one in recovery could have the “urgent” matter to attend to, or it could be you that has another obligation, one that both of you are required to take part in.

The point is, weigh your options. Don’t accept every invitation you’re given. Be selective in where you do wind up going. Don’t feel obligated to make an appearance at places if you’re only putting in face time and it’s not really needed. You and your loved one in recovery have more important things to do with your time.

Make a Plan

Okay, so there are a few events, parties or activities that you feel, individually and collectively, that you absolutely must attend. Use the same principle of selectivity here. By that we mean you take the time to strategize just how you’ll approach going to and being at this event.

Who is throwing the party or hosting the activity? Find out ahead of time what food and refreshments will be served and if it’s likely to be an alcoholic blow-out, you and your loved one who’s about to go through the first holiday without drugs and alcohol, you’d better both have a plan to deal with people offering drinks in a non-stop fashion.

Help your loved one by practicing or role-playing things he or she can say when being offered a drink. This takes the sting out of being caught off-guard at a party or event and having no clue what to say or do other than reach out and take the glass of booze offered. Practicing what to say is a very good technique. The more you do it, the easier it gets. And, don’t just have one response in the toolkit. Try out various responses that your loved one can switch to, given various situations.

Be sure that you practice enough so that your loved one feels comfortable delivering his or her lines. Again, the more he or she practices how to say no in a polite and kind manner, the easier it will be to do when the situation calls for it.

Take Advantage of Available Support

Why do you think that the 12-step rooms get so busy at this time of the year? It’s not that people just got religion, so to speak, or that there are more people in recovery during the holidays than any other time of the year. The truth is that the holidays are the times when those in recovery are at greater risk of relapse – and everyone in recovery knows that.

Going to meetings, talking with sponsors, and taking advantage of the community of support available to those in recovery is one of the smartest things your loved one can do during this time. By attending an Al-Anon or Nar-Anon meeting yourself, you can show your own support for your loved one as well as get the kind of support you need for yourself.

This is, after all, a family recovery. No one recovers alone. We all need the help and support of others as we face challenges. Whether it’s the holiday or any other time of stress and challenging situations, support is always just a meeting away.

Go Elsewhere

While it may seem like an expensive undertaking, getting out of town during the holidays doesn’t have to be a break-the-budget proposition. Maybe you have relatives that live in a rural area, or in the mountains, or in a small town, or somewhere that is sparsely populated, doesn’t have a lot of traffic congestion, few bars or liquor stores, and so forth. No, we’re not talking about something that doesn’t exist, nor should you be necessarily looking for a deserted island. The idea is to change the scenery, in more ways than one.

First, you’ll be out of your normal surroundings during a time of the year when you and your loved one in recovery may be subjected to just too much stress and temptation. Second, you’ll be seeing something that’s out of the ordinary, that is, people and places that will take your attention off those pressing details at home.

You may also find that your loved one is more interested in the surroundings in this other location, has more energy and enthusiasm for engaging in healthy recreational activities such as skiing, tobogganing, sledding, ice skating, ice fishing and so forth. In fact, if you can both share in these activities, there’s a much greater likelihood that this will prove to be one of the most satisfying and enjoying holidays you’ve had in a long time.

Acknowledge the Risk, But Don’t Run From It

Yes, surviving the first holiday without alcohol or drugs can be a very scary time for your loved one. You need to acknowledge that upfront and do everything you can to help your loved one get through this difficult time without relapsing.

One thing you really can’t do is to pretend that everything is normal, that you can both just go back to whatever way you both used to approach the holiday season. That ship has already sailed. There’s no going back to the way it once was. When your loved one is in recovery, there’s no little bit of drinking, no single taking a hit or dropping a line or smoking some illicit substance. Abstinence is the only way your loved one will be able to continue effective recovery.

This doesn’t mean that your life with your loved one will be monotonous and dull. It would only be that if you adopt the mindset that you can’t live without the excitement and allure that previous partying entailed, with or without your loved one’s addiction. So, it will mean that you need to revise your lifestyle to accommodate the healing process your loved one is undertaking. Either that or you’ll need to make some different changes in your living arrangement with your spouse or loved one.

Again, no one recovers alone. Recovery support groups such as Alcoholics Anonymous and Narcotics Anonymous are a key factor in ongoing sobriety, but the support and encouragement of loving spouses and family members is just as important. The two together provide your loved one with his or her best chance at continued sobriety.

This is also an excellent time to express your love for your partner. You’ve both been through some trying times, including your loved one’s time in treatment and early days of recovery. A deep and abiding love will help sustain you both, but it’s also true that each of us needs to hear and feel that we’re truly loved. Kind and loving words, gestures and touches will go a long way toward healing the soul and the spirit, now and at any time of the year.

Bottom line: Can you help your loved one survive their first holiday without drugs and alcohol? The answer really is up to you. Are you committed to supporting your loved one’s continued sobriety? Can you make a few sacrifices, do things a little differently, adopt a positive attitude toward his or her new life in sobriety so that everyone benefits through adoption of a healthier lifestyle?

With the holiday season upon us, now is a great time to begin.

First Holiday Without Drugs And Alcohol? How to Help Your Loved One Survive is a post from: Drug Addiction Treatment

You’ve probably heard of the “runner’s high” and dismissed it as far inferior to the euphoria produced by drugs. But research shows that exercise can release the brain’s natural opiates such as dopamine and endorphins, producing a powerful rush of feel-good chemicals. This means you can feel good without drugs and alcohol in your life.

A Healthy Habit

Exercise can play an important role in recovering from addiction and preventing relapse. It provides a healthy distraction and positive coping mechanism when temptations to use drugs arise. People who exercise regularly also report the following benefits:

• Improved mood
• Better sleep quality and quantity
• Greater tolerance for anger, tension and stress and ability to relax
• Reduced risk of heart disease, stroke, type 2 diabetes, depression, certain types of cancer and arthritis
• Weight loss and toned muscles
• Higher self-esteem and sense of self-control
• Better sex life
• Increased energy, strength, flexibility, balance and endurance

Most importantly, an exercise high doesn’t carry the negative consequences and side effects that drugs do. Rather than feeling worse in the long run, exercise will help you feel better – plus you’ll be prolonging the best years of your life. If you crave more exercise, you’re actually doing yourself a favor.

All of these benefits have led a number of drug rehab centers to provide patients with gym memberships and daily access to fitness classes, yoga, outdoor activities and sports. Many also include exercise as part of continuing care and relapse prevention plans.

Making Exercise a Priority

The one difficulty with exercise is that you need a longer term perspective to appreciate the necessity of a daily workout. You have to accept the pain in order to get the pleasure, whereas with drugs you get the pleasure up front and deal with the pain of withdrawal and cravings later.

Many people have to drag themselves to the gym and force themselves through a session on the elliptical before they remember how good it feels to be active. Studies confirm that we overestimate the unpleasantness of exercise and underestimate how good we’ll feel after a workout.

The good news is that when you exercise frequently, you establish a habit. Rather than evaluating the pros and cons of leaving work, family or the comfort of home to get in a workout, you’ll just get up and go. Also, the more you experience the high of a strenuous workout, the more you’ll easily recall the benefits of your hard work.

In drug rehab, you likely learned how to control your own thoughts to change how you feel and behave. The same principles that motivate you to stay drug-free can help you commit to an exercise regimen. Focus on the fun parts of your workout and the deep, consequence-free satisfaction you gain by doing something healthy for yourself.

Recovering from addiction requires a commitment to better overall health and significant lifestyle changes. Exercise can be a daily reminder to put your health and your recovery first.

Addicts are notorious for seeking immediate gratification and wallowing in our own self-pity, but we stand to benefit even more than most from regular exercise. You may not want to exercise, but research shows you’ll be happier, healthier and more firmly grounded in your recovery if you do it anyway.

The Role of Exercise in Addiction Recovery is a post from: Drug Addiction Treatment

A new study shows that Twelve Step programs may be a significant predictor of recovery success for young women who have completed addiction treatment. Findings published by Hazelden’s Butler Center for Research revealed that the program may help young women successfully navigate the early days following treatment.

The study found that Twelve Step outpatient programs play an important role in determining recovery success for young women. There are three publications that are available providing details about the Twelve Step method. The publications are intended to help facilitators lead effective outpatient programs.

The study’s findings reveal that the frequency in which outpatient treatment patients attended Twelve Step support meetings following the completion of their addiction treatment was useful in predicting success in recovery among young women. The study’s authors note that the Twelve Step program is included in the SAMHSA National Registry of Evidence-Based Programs and Practices.

The researchers examined the recovery of 139 women between the ages of 17 and 23 and measured their attendance frequency at Twelve Step program meetings. The frequency of attendance was effective at predicting abstinence from substance use among the young women as well as the number of drinking days.

The study’s findings provide support for giving the Twelve Step program a new look. For those treatment centers that focus on both individual therapy and group treatment, there may be value in reassessing the role the Twelve Step program may hold in a successful treatment program. While Twelve Step programs have existed for many years, the new research indicates that there is value in periodically revisiting the effectiveness of programs.

The primary goal of the Twelve Step process is to enroll the individual struggling with addiction into a group such as Alcoholic Anonymous or Narcotics Anonymous. The Twelve Step program is a useful tool as a foundation for a wide variety of approaches to substance abuse treatment programs.

The 12-session outpatient treatment program is designed for individuals who struggle with substance use disorders. It is not only used in treatment programs, but also in private practice, corrections facilities and mental health facilities.

Twelve Step Programs Important for Recovery is a post from: Drug Addiction Treatment

Everyone needs a break. We all require a time to rest when our bodies can replenish and our spirit become revitalized. Most of us find such a hiatus from the activities of the day when we sleep. And when we sleep is when we dream. Although some of us deny profusely that we dream, the scientific truth is that we all do dream – in one way or another. Maybe we block out our dreams once we wake up, or it could be that some of us just go to a restful state where there are no dreams. None of us really knows about that for sure, but we do know that we dream in our waking hours. That may be called forward planning, and its’ good enough for this discussion. We’ll still call it dreaming.

Why are dreams important in recovery? For one thing, we have to be able to think of or envision something totally different in our lives. We need to have a goal that we want to achieve, and in order for us to consider the goal worth undertaking, it has to have some value for us. It can’t be a goal that someone else says we need to attain. It has to be something that we can see ourselves accomplishing and that we really want to do. This doesn’t mean that the goal may not entail a lot of work and many challenges to overcome. In fact, it will. That’s what makes the goal even more valuable. How much we put into achieving our goals makes them that much more satisfying when we do achieve them.

But back to the dreaming part, how do we help ourselves dream in recovery? Simply put, we give ourselves permission to dream. It helps to set aside some quiet time to allow our thoughts to drift to things we’d like to do, to expand upon things we already love to do or have always wanted to do. We could call this daydreaming, since we’re doing it when we’re not asleep. It’s still dreaming, envisioning a future that comes about as a result of plans that we make and actions we take to get there.

And dreams are important in recovery. We dream before we act, for in our dreams we are the architect, the creator, the master planner. We can try one on and then change how it looks and feels, all with the strength of our creativity. Do we envision ourselves financially independent, getting married, having children, getting a degree, traveling, helping others new to recovery? How do we get there? Will we be happy once we do? The key to remember is that we all need to have something we’re striving for and that something will change over time. Once we achieve certain goals that we initially dreamed about and then worked to attain, we’re not done. We’re never done. As long as we’re alive, we’ll continue to dream, to create new vistas for ourselves and new action plans to ensure we get there.

It all begins with the dream. So take the time to dream in recovery, and then act upon those dreams.

Take Time to Dream in Recovery is a post from: Drug Addiction Treatment

Caught in the Relapse Cycle

Winehouse’s addictions garnered worldwide attention for her brisk and defiant approach to recovery, portrayed in song lyrics like “they tried to make me go to rehab and I said no.” The song points to key issues surrounding addiction, including the reality that many people with alcohol addictions may repeat rehab attempts several times, followed by devastating relapses – despite the efforts of loved ones to help lead the person to drug rehab treatment.

Reports about Winehouse’s death have indicated that her parents tried several times to lead her to recovery, as did close friends. Fans of Amy Winehouse are also reported to have tried to intervene. Following the news of Winehouse’s death, parents are being urged across the globe to become more involved in making sure their children avoid drugs and alcohol.

In the U.S., research suggests that if teens experiment with drugs and alcohol before they reach the age of 18, they have a significantly higher risk of becoming addicted later in life. Experts hope similar statistics and the stories of lives lost to addiction will encourage parents not to view their children’s experimentation with drugs or alcohol as a “rite of passage” or just “kids being kids,” but rather a behavior with lifelong and devastating consequences.

The Importance of Aftercare

Another topic that is emerging from Amy Winehouse’s death is the subject of aftercare when a person has completed drug rehab. Winehouse is reported to have attended alcohol rehab in 2008, and again just months before her death, with her representatives saying they were monitoring her closely before determining if a European tour would be advisable.

Aftercare serves to connect the time in recovery with the return to the person’s normal life, and can be built upon daily or weekly checking in with counselors or accountability partners. With a focus on retaining new life skills, aftercare can be pivotal in avoiding a relapse when life stressors return. The months following rehab can be some of the hardest when a person is battling an addiction, and aftercare can include a combination of group meetings, individual meetings and continuing education for several weeks following the exit from a drug rehab center.

Reef Karim, director of California’s Control Center for Addiction, says several young celebrities have had their lives cut short due to addiction. Karim says this can be linked to touring too soon following a relapse, or being urged out of drug rehab and into performing before recovery seems to have been solidified.

Dr. Georgina Smith of a Malibu addiction recovery program agrees, and adds that there is a serious commitment to aftercare involved in recovery. This commitment may necessitate serious lifestyle change on multiple levels.

Smith and other addiction experts also send out the stark message that addiction rehabilitation is not grounds for pop song lyrics, but rather a serious and critical path for people with addictions to regain their health and sustain their lives.

Singer Amy Winehouse Death Prompts Discussion about Addiction Relapse and Aftercare is a post from: Drug Addiction Treatment

First and Foremost is Family

There’s nothing that replaces the love and support from family members as you take your first tentative steps in recovery. After you complete treatment to overcome whatever your drug of choice was – alcohol, illicit drugs, and/or prescription drugs used to get high, gambling, sexual addiction, or workaholism – the primary support network you should be able to tap into is that of your family.

Not everyone is lucky enough to have a loving and supportive family. Some people coming out of rehab formerly lived on the streets, or are living alone, have no family members still living or the ones that are alive either have become estranged from the recovering addict or live too far away to be much support on an ongoing basis.

Even these individuals have options in recovery. We’ll touch more on that later.

For now, consider that your most important allies in your recovery are the members of your family. These are generally speaking the ones you live with, such as your spouse or partner, your parents, even your children. What’s important is that family members learn as much as they can about the disease of addiction and how they can better support your goals in recovery. The key is not to be overbearing or to nag you or constantly check up on you, but to learn how they can change their own behaviors to be more supportive in a healthier way, possibly change some of their own bad habits that are not conducive to your sobriety.

Where do family members learn how to support you in recovery? If they haven’t already participated in family treatment while you were in rehab, there’s always another option. They can – and should – attend regular meetings of the 12-step family groups such as Al-Anon/Alateen, the family group component of Alcoholics Anonymous, the fellowship that those recovering from alcohol abuse and addiction most often attend. Al-Anon is for the spouses and close friends of those in recovery, while Alateen is for older adolescent members of the family.

The Narcotics Anonymous family group is Nar-Anon. For recovering gamblers attending Gamblers Anonymous, family members can find fellowship and support for themselves in Gam-Anon. Other 12-step groups have their own versions of family group offshoots.

12-Step Group Participation is a Necessity

Almost universally, recovery experts recommend that newcomers to sobriety make it a practice to regularly attend 12-Step groups. We would revise that to say it’s a necessity. Why? When you are in recovery from addiction, you have a lot of real-world experience to learn. It’s no longer that you’re in the safe confines of rehab. Once you step foot back home you’re in your own realm, and you face living in sobriety without the ever-present reassurance of your therapists and counselors from treatment.

It’s a fact that 12-Step groups provide the ongoing support and encouragement that many in recovery say they’d be lost without. This is something that you need to pay close attention to, since you need support from this day forward.

Even if you believe that you’ve learned all there is to learn about the disease of addiction, or that you think you can handle whatever comes along in your life without relapsing back into drugs or alcohol (or gambling or compulsive sex or workaholism), you will still benefit from the always available, nonjudgmental support and encouragement from your 12-Step sponsor and fellow 12-Step group members.

The Alcoholics Anonymous website is a fount of information that should be a first-stop for you now that you’re in recovery. Check out where there are meetings close to where you live and work, as well as other meeting locations in your community. According to statistics provided by Alcoholics Anonymous, there are an estimated 2 million men and women in the organization who meet regularly to share their experience, strength and hope with each other. These men and women say their everyday lives are a whole lot better than they used to be – and they get stronger in their sobriety every day, thanks to the support and encouragement of their sponsors and fellow Alcoholics Anonymous group members.

Alcoholics Anonymous or A.A. can be found in your local telephone directory or online (http://www.aa.org/index.cfm?Media=PlayFlash). There are no dues or fees to join and you remain anonymous – only first names are used. The only requirement to join is a sincere desire to stop drinking. The primary purpose of Alcoholics Anonymous is help individual members stay sober and to help each other achieve sobriety.

Narcotics Anonymous, also known as the NA Fellowship, has a comprehensive website (http://na.org/) filled with useful information. The organization’s vision, stated on its website, is that “Every addict in the world has the chance to experience our message in his or her own language and culture and find the opportunity for a new way of life.” You can find a meeting via access to local helplines and websites or use the NA Meeting Search function (http://portaltools.na.org/portaltools/MeetingLoc/).

Gamblers Anonymous (http://gamblersanonymous.org/) is a fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength and hope with each other in order that each may solve their common problem and help others recover from a gambling problem. Find a meeting by checking out the meeting directory (http://gamblersanonymous.org/mtgdirTOP.html) or call the Gamblers Anonymous hotline at 1-888-GA-HELPS (1-888-424-3577). The main website also has information on the GA recovery program, 20 questions, Q&A, history, information about the Gam-Anon family program and more.

Peer Support Recovery Services

Many people in recovery are at different points in the healing and recovery process. Whether it’s recovery from a substance use disorder or process behavior, what each needs is some form of social support that can help them through the process. Peer recovery support services are a new kind of social support services that’s designed to fill these needs. As the name implies, the services are designed and delivered by peers, people who have experienced both substance use disorder and recovery.

Through the Recovery Community Services Program (RCSP), the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) Center for Substance Abuse Treatment (CSAT) funds grant projects across the United States to develop and deliver these services.

What kinds of services are available to you in recovery? There are four types of social support and associated peer recovery support services. These are emotional, informational, instrumental and affiliational.

·        Emotional support demonstrates empathy, caring or concern that helps bolster your self-esteem and confidence. This is accomplished by peer mentoring and peer-led support groups.

·        Informational support shares knowledge and information and/or provides life or vocational skills training. Examples include parenting class, job readiness training and wellness seminars.

·        Instrumental support helps provide concrete assistance to those in recovery accomplish tasks. Child care, transportation services, and help accessing community health and social services are examples of this kind of support.

·        Affiliational support facilitates contact with others to help promote learning social and recreational skills, create community and a sense of belonging. Recovery centers, sports league participation, and alcohol- and drug-free socialization opportunities are examples.

Recommendations for Approaching Recovery

Most important to remember is that you are never alone in your recovery journey. There are always people available to help you with support and encouragement when you hit a rough patch, encounter a crisis of major or minor proportions, or simply are feeling blue, confused and ill-equipped to face recovery on your own.

You will need to do a little legwork to find the 12-Step group or community peer-to-peer recovery support group that can help you in your recovery. In this respect, finding help is no different from researching help for any problem. The difference is that your goal to find recovery support is more than just an educational undertaking. For you and millions of others in recovery from substance abuse or other addiction, recovery is a lifelong journey.

Recognize that your addiction or problems with substances didn’t occur overnight. Likely it took many months or even years to develop into full-blown addiction or where your life no longer made any sense and was filled with one nightmare after another, compounded by escalating problems brought on by your addiction.

Similarly, recovery will take time to take hold – and you have to be willing to work at it and work hard. There are going to be days when you face an uphill battle. But no matter what, it won’t be as bad as the worst days of your addiction. At least now, you’re in recovery, you have support, you have options.

First item on your agenda is to do everything you can to maximize your chances for effective recovery. This means get yourself to a 12-Step meeting and put it on your schedule for regular attendance. During the first three months or 90 days of recovery, you may wish to go to meetings several times a day and every day of the week. That’s because the first 90 days is the most critical time. It’s during this time when those new to sobriety have the greatest risk of relapse. Why? For one thing, it is often that they simply lack the self-confidence or knowledge to be able to cope with triggers and cravings and urges.

Second item to consider is to sit down with your family members and talk about your goals in recovery. Let your loved ones know that you appreciate their ongoing support and encouragement and you are firmly committed to sobriety. It’s also a good idea to let them know that your first priority has to be your sobriety for the time being. Now that you’re clean and sober, you need time to become more fully versed in what it takes to maintain your sobriety. This is almost like a full-time job, but it’s even more important than any kind of employment. Recovery simply has to be your constant focus.

Having said that, recovery should not all be about hard work. You should look upon recovery as a gift of life, because in truth, that’s really what it is. Yes, you need to work hard at it, but what you get out of a sober lifestyle is truly worth the effort. Take time for relaxing, to read and meditate, to walk in the woods, to show your love for your family with a kind word and warm embrace.

Be sure to celebrate your sobriety milestones when they occur. Your first month sober is a big one, followed by your 60-day milestone, 90-day and first-year anniversary in recovery. Make no mistake about it. These milestones are a big deal. You are solidifying your recovery and gaining in self-confidence and self-esteem with each successive sobriety milestone.

Of course, the biggest piece of advice is that you allow yourself time to heal, to gain strength and confidence in your abilities to remain in effective recovery. Don’t be in a rush to get some arbitrary place. Everyone in recovery started at the beginning. Each person has their own unique path to recovery. What works for the next person will be completely different – although perhaps very similar in some respects – to what turns out to be best for you.

In line with this is the final bit of advice: Live in the present. Don’t worry about the past, which is dead and gone. You are not your addiction. You’ve chosen sobriety and are now on that lifelong journey. Neither should you pay too much attention to the future. After all, you can’t live the future any more than you can live in the past. Life is what you do here and now. Today and what you do for your recovery today is what matters. Tomorrow will evolve out of what you do today.

Does this seem like too much to take in? Don’t worry. Take it one day at a time. Surround yourself with others who are also in recovery. Be warm and loving with your family and thank them for their support and encouragement. Create recovery-focused goals for yourself and map out action plans to achieve them. Take time to enjoy the little things in life: sunrise and sunset, the laughter of children, the sights and sounds of your family members enjoying each other’s company, a beautiful melody, and the feel of snow on your eyelids.

Above all, if you are afraid of facing recovery alone, be assured that you have options. Take advantage of them.

Afraid Of Facing Recovery Alone? You Have Options is a post from: Drug Addiction Treatment

The Key Is Not To Look For Love

You may have heard the expression, “The more you look for love, the harder it is to find it.” There’s more than a grain of truth to the saying. When we are desperate to love and be loved, we exhibit a type of compulsive behavior that’s not unlike our former pursuit of our drugs of choice. If we’re hungry for love, we’ll do anything to find it – whether it’s for the first time or recapturing a love we’ve lost.

Compulsive seeking of love leads to all kinds of irrational behavior – none of which is conducive either to finding love or to remaining in sobriety.

Take a piece of advice from the experts who recommend you first learn how to love yourself. If you are at peace with who you are and are living life to the best of your ability, maximizing your strengths and being proactive in your recovery, you will become more attractive to others. It’s like a beacon that shines in the dark, drawing others to you.

Think of what attracts you to another. Is it the light in their eyes, the ready smile, their laughter, how they are composed in any situation, the comfortable way they make you feel? Whatever the attributes in others that you find most appealing, that’s what others are drawn to in a prospective mate (or partner) as well.

For some, it may be an opposite trait that attracts them. A person who is naturally shy may be attracted to someone who’s more outgoing. But it’s equally true that two booklovers (who may be shy) could be attracted to each other.

This just goes to prove that there are no real rules about where and how people find and fall in love with each other. The only thing that is almost universally certain is that you can’t force love. If you (or the other person) don’t feel it, no amount of telling yourself it’s there will make it so.

Work on Self-Improvement

If you can’t look for love and are supposed to learn how to be at peace with yourself, how do you get started? Recommendations here are to begin with things you can readily do to work on your own self-improvement.

Let’s say that you’ve always wanted to learn how to dance, but were either afraid you’d be no good at it, didn’t have the time or money, or had no one to be your partner. Now that you’re in recovery, what’s stopping you from pursuing your goal of feeling better about yourself by taking a class in dance? It doesn’t have to be dancing. It could be just about anything: woodworking, cross-country skiing, or cooking, painting, ceramics, or whatever. The point is that you won’t know how good you might be at something if you never give it a chance.

Take a class, enroll in school, go to hobbyist clubs, or join a group of others interested in the same type of activity.

What happens when you work on self-improvement? Everything you do that helps you gain more knowledge and experience adds to your level of self-esteem and self-confidence. When you add accomplishments to your repertoire, you’re fleshing out who you are with a greater depth. You’re no longer a one-dimensional individual. You have facets, little pieces of your character that are interesting to others.

Now that you’ve found something you like to do and do it regularly, you have more to talk about in casual conversation with someone new you may meet. You won’t be stuck with nothing to say. There’s always the nugget about this dance step or that fishing lure or the best downhill slope in the area to talk about with those who share your interests.

When you’re excited about your activities, you also have something to look forward to. Your facial expressions and body language will begin to change to reflect your happiness in what you’re doing. This increases your attractiveness to others. Everyone wants to be around people with a bounce in their step, light in their eyes, and a smile on their lips.

If nothing else, you’ll find yourself with many more new friends – any one of whom may turn out to be the light of your life, and perhaps even your soul mate in recovery.

Forget About Timetables

It’s a funny thing about timetables. While they work in recovery milestones, as in 30-, 60-, 90-day sobriety milestones, timetables don’t work when it comes to finding your soul mate in recovery. As previously mentioned, you can’t force love. The more you look for love, the less likely you are to ever find it. By the same token, you can’t give yourself an arbitrary deadline of six months to a year to find a partner, or that you have to be married by the time you reach a certain age or you’ll be doomed to living alone forever.

Life – and love – simply doesn’t work that way.

Looking at life from the perspective of recovery, does it count as a negative if you were drunk for many years and are only recently sober? Of course it isn’t a negative. On the contrary, the fact that you are now firmly in recovery – or new to recovery, for that matter – is the most important part of the equation. It isn’t when you get sober, but that fact that you are.

Now, look at finding your soul mate. Does it matter how young or old you are when you find love? Do you think when you’re at the end of your life and looking back on it that you’ll say you didn’t find your love early enough or that however many years you had with your soul mate made your relationship any less meaningful? Of course not. The beauty of love is that it’s so all-encompassing. Love fills you up, makes life worthwhile, and indeed, time passes quickly.

So, wipe any thought of a timetable for finding love from your mind. When love is ready, it will find you – and you will find love. Don’t be in a hurry to speed things up. You want love to be real, to find your soul mate in recovery. That takes time. And love works on its own schedule.

Strive to Feel Joy in Each Day

What you can do to help jumpstart your progress in recovery, your path to feeling whole and balanced in mind, body and spirit is to strive to find something joyous every day. Don’t worry that you don’t feel happy or have a hard time finding what joy is. Just start out small. Look at the sunrise, if you get up early enough – or set your clock so that you can awake and see this glorious manifestation of nature. Instead of allowing sunrise – or sunset, for that matter – to be a backdrop to your everyday existence, really take in its natural beauty.

That’s joy, and it’s easy enough to experience. All you have to do is look at it. Take a little time — say five minutes, to appreciate all the colors, their hues and intensity. Five minutes isn’t too much to ask from your busy schedule. When you take a breather, take time to allow your mind to drift, that’s when you can start to feel the wonder and awe that we call joy.

Some in recovery say they feel joy just being alive, having come so far from their past dark days of addiction. Others find joy playing with their children, helping them to read, ride a bicycle for the first time, plant a garden, or going to the beach to build sandcastles. Being around children, especially small children, helps us appreciate the small wonders in life. Toddlers, with their unending curiosity, take a veritable bite out of life. From the time they get up until they fall asleep, they’re busy learning and experiencing new things. We can all take a lesson from them.

Allow yourself the freedom to reflect on all that is wondrous and joyful around you. Make time to appreciate the little things in life. This will boost your morale, make you feel content in your present, and help add strength to your foundation of recovery.

And finding your soul mate will be that much closer because you are allowing the inner you to be expressed – in your smile, your lightness of step, your laughter and your joy.

Do Unto Others is a Good Motto

While we’re on the subject of finding joy, let’s touch on something that’s always in style. The Bible says, “Do unto others as ye would have done unto you” – or words to that effect. What this means is that we should treat everyone as we want to be treated. If we want others to be respectful, kind, generous, and loving, the only way this really works is if that’s what we display to them.

You can’t expect someone to reward you with a smile if you’re grumpy and miserable toward them, can you? But if you’re pleasant, warm, and considerate, guess what? Other people are much more likely to treat you in kind. Good begets good, and all that.

It isn’t just Christian religious belief that teaches us to treat others this way. This exhortation is part of all religious philosophy.

What if you feel like it’s pulling teeth to go out of your way to be kind to others? Get over it. The only way to break a cycle is to act in the manner you know delivers results. How do you know it? Other than it works, how about the fact that you’ve heard it enough times so that it must be true. At any rate, you’re not going to lose anything by calling yourself on your demeanor toward others and making a conscious effort to change to a more agreeable person.

Do unto others… and you’ll be amazed at the results. Suddenly, people that never before gave you a second look will be more likely to strike up a conversation with you. Sure, if you’ve been long known as a curmudgeon or sourpuss (okay, maybe even a drunk or a druggie) it may take some time for people’s attitudes toward you to change. But the fact is that they will change. Maybe some people who’ve been harmed by your past addictive behavior won’t become overly warm toward you, but at least you’ll have made the attempt to thaw the relationship.

The real blessing comes when you meet new people and start interacting with them displaying your new and improved attitude toward life. Make that your life in sobriety. Come on. What have you got to lose except some lonely days sitting at home feeling miserable about life? It’s certainly worth a try, isn’t it?

Go On, Get Out There

Now it’s important to mention that you need to be around people if you’re ever going to have an opportunity to come into contact with someone who may eventually turn out to be the love of your life – your soul mate in recovery.

Don’t know where to start? Well, how new are you to recovery? If you’re just beginning, chances are that you’re still feeling raw. Your emotions may be all over the place, not to mention the fact that your body is slowly coming to grips with what it feels like to be clean and sober. This takes some time. It also takes time for you to become more practiced and comfortable using your coping techniques, getting your foothold in recovery, strengthening your support network, and working the steps.

Recovery experts recommend – and it’s strongly recommended in all the 12-step groups – that you don’t enter into any new romantic relationship or make any major life changes (such as getting married or divorced) during the first year of your recovery. You need to be firmly grounded in sobriety before you venture down the path of any serious relationship. That’s if you want it to have any chance at success.

Certainly you may meet someone during the first year, even at 12-step groups, that you become more than a little fond of. That’s perfectly fine. Just keep it platonic. Friendship is the first stepping stone to love, anyway. Think about it. If you aren’t good friends, how can you ever be soul mates?

But back to getting out there and being with people — when you’ve had some time in recovery, start branching out and broadening your social sphere. You’ll find that there are new people to meet almost anywhere you go, whether it’s on campus, at the workplace, on vacation, even at the home improvement store or Costco.

If you want to meet people, you have to go where people are. It’s as simple as that. And, with all the things you’ve got going for you in your life in recovery, you have ample choices of places to go.

Take It Slow

The final piece of advice goes without saying – but we’ll say it anyway. Once you find someone who lights up your life – and, hopefully, the feeling is mutual – the best thing you can do is to take it slow. Allow love to nurture and grow naturally. Don’t force it.

There is a saying that goes, “Love gets better with time” that’s appropriate here. You could take it to mean that love deepens with time, or that you need to take time for love to take hold.

Just as a seedling will drown if you pour too much water on it, if you shower your newfound potential soul mate with too much attention or go overboard in any way, you may just cause the budding relationship to die. Sticking with the same analogy, too little attention will also result in a disastrous end. Try for the happy medium.

This recommendation applies to both you and your potential soul mate. It’s great to get caught up in feelings of love and want to rush ahead with the relationship, but you want it to last. You want it to become permanent. You both have a lot to learn about each other. You both want to grow together, share joy and pain and whatever life brings. Be gentle. Be present. Be aware. Give more than you receive, and keep on giving.

When you discover your soul mate in recovery — and the feeling is mutual — your efforts will be abundantly rewarded.

Come to think of it, when you can say to your loved one, “You light up my life,” it’s more than just a Hallmark moment. It’s what life is all about.

You Light Up My Life – Finding Your Soul Mate In Recovery is a post from: Drug Addiction Treatment

1. You Awake Each Day with a Sense of PurposeGoing through rehab and getting to the point where you begin recovery takes a lot out of you. Now that the treatment stage and getting clean and sober is behind you, looking at your new life in sobriety is a whole new experience. For many it is the breath of fresh air that they haven’t known in many months or years. For others early recovery is a chance for a do-over, a fresh start, a chance to create a life that’s worthwhile and open to discovery.

   It may seem like waking up each day with a sense of purpose is a natural thing – and it is. But it doesn’t occur overnight. True, you may have some days when you’ve had a string of good things happen in your recovery and you feel really great about your progress, but there will also be other days when you feel as if you’re climbing through mud uphill. It does get better.

   Think of each day as a bright and shiny gift. If you look at the day unfolding and feel a sense of purpose – you know what you need to do and feel confident about your ability to do it – you will know that your recovery is working. Again, it doesn’t have to be every day that you feel such sense of purpose for your recovery to be working. If the majority of the mornings when you awaken you feel this way, though, you are definitely on the right track. Keep doing what you’re doing and your recovery will continue to strengthen.

1. You Embrace Change as a Positive Aspect of GrowthComing from where you once were in your addiction – substance abuse of drugs or alcohol or both, process addictions such as compulsive gambling, compulsive spending, compulsive sexual behavior, workaholism – it may be extremely difficult to begin to embrace change. After all, you reason, you’ve had to go through a tremendous amount of change already and maybe you don’t feel up to tackling much more at the present time.

   That’s perfectly normal, so don’t beat yourself up about the fact that you may be a little leery about change – right now. Just do yourself a big favor and hold out the possibility that you may wish to look at change in a different light. How can this help, you ask? Good question. Here’s the answer.

   Consider the seasons in nature. Without change, there would be no growth. Everything would stagnate. Without the rains of spring, no new growth would appear. Full bloom occurs in summer, and fall begins the time for shedding. Winter allows for deep roots to grow and for rest and preparation for spring. Human beings are like the seasons in that there are specific times for change and different processes we go through to become nurtured and grow. When we are addicted, we are a little like the death stage of nature, but we counter that by going through rehab and getting our bad habits pruned. Then, like spring, we’re ready to bloom. See? We’re talking about natural change.

   Any period of gloom that may descend during early recovery isn’t cause for alarm. You may just need a little more time to get acclimated to your newfound sobriety. Continue going to your 12-step meetings, get a sponsor and start working the steps and network like crazy with fellow 12-step group members. Re-connect and/or strengthen the ties with your family – your other crucial support network. Gradually, a little bit each day, you will start looking at your life in recovery in a more positive light. You will begin to see that change is something not to be feared, but to be welcomed.

   If you are at this point now where you embrace change as a positive aspect of growth, you know that your recovery is on solid footing. Good work. Keep it up.

1. You are Able to See How you Build Upon your SuccessesHaving perspective means that we’re able to see beyond the present and to view changes in our lives with the ability to assess how well we’ve done and where we can make improvements. Not everyone is equipped immediately upon completion of rehab to be able to think things through and see how all actions fit in perspective. This is something that takes time to develop.

   And you do need to develop this ability. What it boils down to is a little bit of trial and error. You go to 12-step meetings and have intense discussions with your 12-step sponsor. You talk about and listen to others tell their experiences about what is the best strategy to employ to overcome triggers and cravings and urges, how to deal with insomnia and anxiety or depression, how to begin to build self-confidence and a whole range of topics that are so important to those new to recovery.

   What happens is that you start out trying whatever looks and sounds good. Never mind that you have no experience in doing any of this. You know that you need to “work the steps” and you’re eager – and a bit frightened and confused – to get going. Guess what? Sooner or later you stumble upon a winning combination. You’ve tried something your sponsor talked about that worked for him, added something you heard in the rooms, and then put a finishing touch on it by tailoring the strategy to your own circumstances. Voila! This is a success, and one that you should feel justifiably proud of.

   The key to one success is to be able to build upon it. Just as you analyzed what was available in your toolkit (coping strategies, how to decrease stress, better ways to communicate with others, and so on), you need to be able to look at the string of successes you’ve achieved in your recovery and see how you can build upon them to take yourself to the next level.

   In other words, you are advancing in your recovery journey, able to tackle steps that may have seemed too formidable to you before. Each step that you work through is yet another success in the foundation that is your recovery.

   When you see how you can build upon your successes, you are surely on the right path in recovery. Your recovery is working, and that’s a tremendous achievement.

1. You are Flexible and Adaptive to Bend and Compromise When NecessaryRemember the Aesop fable about the oak and the reed? If not, here it is:

   “An oak and a reed were arguing about their strength. When a strong wind came up, the reed avoided being uprooted by bending and leaning with the gusts of wind. But the oak stood firm and was torn up by the roots.”

   Right away, you can get what the value of remaining flexible and adaptive means in recovery. Sure, there are going to be many obstacles and hurdles that will come your way, just as they do for every person in recovery. It doesn’t matter if you are only a few weeks new to recovery or if you’ve been in effective recovery for many years, tough times and crises major and minor will still occur. It isn’t the fact of the occurrence of these challenges – since they are bound to occur – but how the individual makes use of all that he or she has learned, is flexible and adaptive enough to bend and compromise when necessary.

   Sound too difficult? On the other hand, does it sound too easy? The interesting thing about recovery is that no two situations are alike. Even the same person will react differently each time a similar situation arises. This is the benefit of cumulative experience, of learning how to build upon your successes, and embracing change as a positive aspect of growth.

   You can’t allow yourself to become bowled over by a crisis. If you feel ill-equipped to deal with it, don’t sit home alone and stew about it. Ask for help from your 12-step sponsor and fellow group members. Talk with your loved ones about what you need. Give yourself time to think about the best way to handle whatever’s going on and then take the appropriate action.

   Filter everything that you do through the lens of how it fits with your recovery plan. Recognize that you cannot remain rigid and still be standing after a hurricane (or major crisis) strikes. You need to be flexible – like the reed in the Aesop fable – and adapt to changing circumstances. With the knowledge that you gain day by day and the wealth of successes you’ve achieved, you will soon realize that your recovery is working. You are flexible and adaptable – both hallmarks of someone who’s recovery is on-track.

1. You Feel Increased Self-Confidence and Self-EsteemEveryone who enters early recovery remembers what it was like to feel beaten and hopeless. Some experienced such trials and tribulations during the depths of their addiction that they considered or tried suicide. Some were incarcerated. Others lost family, jobs, went into bankruptcy and personal ruin. Self-hatred, loss of self-confidence and self-esteem were etched deep into each person’s persona.

   When you first entered recovery, you may have felt a plethora of emotions. On the one hand, you heard and tried to believe that you had made a great achievement simply by getting clean and sober and completing rehab. It certainly wasn’t easy, but now that you’re in recovery that’s not so easy either. You wonder where you’re going to be able to find that rainbow you so desperately seek. Where is the horizon of self-confidence and self-esteem that your counselor told you marks effective recovery?

   Those of you who have been in recovery for some time know – and are probably smiling right now – that self-confidence and self-esteem builds over time. With each day, week, and month of sobriety that you actively work the steps and concentrate on your recovery you get stronger and better able to deal with whatever comes your way. This is you building up your self-confidence. And, as you make strides by increasing your store of self-confidence, guess what? Your self-esteem begins to be restored as well.

   In fact, for some individuals who have been in long-term addiction, this awakening marks a kind of total rebirth. Lacking any sort of self-confidence or self-esteem, once such feelings start to blossom, it can be akin to a miracle – not only to the person in recovery but also to those who love and care about him.

   When you feel an increased sense of self-confidence about your abilities and capabilities, and your sense of self-esteem is restored or instilled, you know that your recovery is working. Don’t worry if it took a long time. The fact that you have it now is a testament to all your hard work and dedication. You deserve to feel great about yourself and your abilities in recovery.

1. You are Motivated to Help Others New to Recovery Get Their FootholdRecovery experts say that working recovery is a lifelong journey. You will always be in recovery. It isn’t a race. Recovery is forever. Therefore, you should never feel as if you have to hurry up and get there. The there is here and now. You can only live in the present. Here and now is where you act.

   Oftentimes people forget that they can’t change what happened in the past. It is also important to stress that you are not defined by your addiction. You have made the choice to be clean and sober and live in sobriety. That’s who you are. You act today to work your recovery. You also cannot worry about the future. That’s pointless. The future will evolve out of what you do or do not do today.

   Knowing that recovery is a lifelong journey, that you need to actively work your recovery each and every day, that you build upon your successes and increase your store of self-confidence and self-esteem, what’s the clue that you’re continuing to have effective recovery? If you’re doing everything as you should and things are going well, isn’t that enough?

   Well, it can be if that’s what works for you. There is no timetable etched in stone that says you need to be at this particular point at such and such a date. You decide how you feel. If you are inclined to want to help someone that’s new to recovery better understand how this whole recovery thing works, you may wish to consider becoming a sponsor. Remember how important your own sponsor was during your first days and weeks of recovery? You can be that pillar of support and understanding to someone else just walking in the room for the first time.

   Not ready to commit to being a sponsor yet? Don’t worry. There’s nothing that says you have to be a sponsor. You can help newcomers in other ways. Lend an understanding ear if someone approaches you. Talk about what worked well for you during group. Offer to help with group activities, to pick someone up and bring them to and from meetings if transportation is a problem. See how and when you can contribute of your time and expertise to benefit the entire group.

   You could also work in the greater 12-step organization, helping out at the district level or working national conventions. If you feel motivated to help others new to recovery get their foothold, start by talking with your sponsor and indicate that you’re ready. When you get to this point, you should feel confident that your recovery is working. Now, maybe you can help someone else begin their journey.

Recap

Let’s recap the six ways you know your recovery is working:

• You awake each day with a sense of purpose.
• You embrace change as a positive aspect of growth.
• You are able to see how you build upon your successes.
• You are flexible and adaptive to bend and compromise when necessary.
• You are motivated to help others new to recovery get their foothold.

If you already see yourself in each of these, you’re to be congratulated. If you’re there with some but not others, you’re probably well on your way. In any event, you’re doing all the right things, so just keep doing them. Recovery is a gift – one that you have truly embraced.

Six Ways to Know if Your Recovery is Working is a post from: Drug Addiction Treatment

"Generosity is not giving me that which I need more than you do, but it is giving me that which you need more then I do." – Both quotes by Khalil Gibran, Lebanese poet, writer, philosopher (1883-1931)

When we think of generosity, our thoughts usually center on the receipt of largesse, not the giving of ourselves. Yet in recovery, being generous of our time, effort and spirit is exactly what we most need to do. Why? Generosity is important to recovery because by giving to others more than looking to receive something ourselves we are moving beyond self-centeredness into the all-important area of growth that derives from caring for others.

It does take some doing to improve our ability to be generous toward others, however. Many of us are ill-equipped at first to do anything more than sustain our own sobriety – and that is hard enough. Over time, and given practice, each of us can do a little more in the way of opening ourselves up to doing more for others. A few kind words here, an extension of our help there, and we’re well on our way to building up our capacity to be generous.

When we see a newcomer to recovery struggling with doubts and confusion, offering our support and understanding – even while we need the same for ourselves – is being generous of spirit. It also helps us heal to be of service to others. In fact, there are countless ways to demonstrate our generosity. All it really takes is a willingness to want to do something good for others that takes us outside of ourselves. Start with a smile and a welcoming handshake. Everything else can flow from this beginning.

What if we start to feel as if we’re giving more than we should? If this thought occurs to us, perhaps we’re not being truly generous. Examine our motives for doing whatever it is that we’ve done. Are we looking for recognition and praise or are we really trying to help another? If, at the heart of it, we’re just looking to get something out of it, we’re not really being generous at all. In fact, the opposite is true.

The best way to improve on our own capacity for generosity is simply to begin to be generous. After some practice, it won’t seem that difficult at all. On the contrary, it will start to feel normal.  

Feeling Generous? How to Improve This All-Important Recovery Trait is a post from: Drug Addiction Treatment